6. The Right Questions
The next essential bit of need to know information from Aseem’s top ten is this: ‘Ask the right questions’.
I like this one because it plays right into a sense of self-reliance and independence. What? Well, I used to make it a bit of a habit to ask other Christian men about stuff that God was doing in their lives, or things that God was speaking to them about at the moment.
I was doing that because it was done to me. When I worked in a drug rehabilitation centre in Brazil the men there would come over to me every day and say ‘O senhor, Deus falou algo para voce hoje?’ ‘Sir, what has God said to you today?’
Now, I need to be honest, when this first started happening it made me read my bible everyday to make sure I had a reply for them, but what it also started to show me is that asking the right questions makes us go deeper and encourages us to keep learning.
I think Aseem is suggesting that by thinking strategically about your questions and asking the right ones you will get the best answers and advance your life. Fine, I’m not arguing with that. But I want to suggest something else, by asking the questions, be they right or wrong, we cultivate a subtle culture in us that says’ I want to keep learning, I haven’t got all this sorted and I need to learn from my brothers and sisters.’
I think this is so important for us as Christian men. The amount of heart ache and mess I could have avoided if I had asked some questions, listened to the answers and built a pattern of learning in my life sooner.
Don’t confuse this with a pioneer spirit, and a call into the wild to take risks, make mistakes and learn from them. I think that all that will still happen even if we ask the right questions or not. The point is that we nurture a pattern of learning and not a framework of ‘I know best.’
Jesus’ mates, the disciples, asked some of the best questions you will ever see. They questioned Jesus about their power and authority, their places in heaven and who should be near Jesus or not. They questioned Jesus parables, asked for more details and inside information. They questioned Jesus’ actions and how he maintained his focus, prayer life and attitudes.
The disciples didn’t always ask the right questions, but they didn’t want to stop learning, they had a chance that had missed them before to sit and be taught, learn from Jesus and they grabbed it with both hands. Another cool thing is that Jesus didn’t push the disciples away for asking the wrong questions, he just set about unpacking things even more.
With Jesus I don’t think there is a right set of questions, he just wants to teach us !!

Image Credit: Emily Morter

OK, we are looking at No 6 ‘The 6th grade level of talking’. I think this is about how we can learn skills to talk and share our views by developing really clear and uncomplicated levels of communication.
By intentionally talking at a 6th Grade level it is being suggested here that we will be understood better and this will help us excel in life. OK. Lets me look at this for a moment.unpack that a bit.
There is some important stuff here for us to consider but should it have made the top ten most important things we need to know in life? You decide.
The age of a 6th grade kid is 12, so effectively the advice is that we work on developing the way we communicate to be something simplified like a 12 year old.
You may be thinking ‘my 12 year old son says about 10 words a day, ‘when’s dinner, when’s tea, can I have more to eat.’ Maybe that’s the point! I feel like a light bulb has just gone on!
Ok, jokes aside, is this helpful? Yes, I actually think it is. I do think that any advice on how to communicate better that misses out the art of listening is like selling a pair of shoes with one shoe missing. But, working on simplifying how we communicate as Christian men (remember this is a blog series about how this may impact us as Christian men) really matters.
If we talk to mates about our faith do we slip into some theological exposition about Pauline theology and how we search for the historical Jesus? Maybe, and that’s ok too, but I would suggest that we probably don’t talk like that on a day to day basis.
We do however share stories, experiences, life, real moments, the fun stuff, the sad stuff and the scary stuff. Point being, we follow the greatest teller of parables (stories with a heavenly meaning) who ever was, Jesus.
Jesus used parables to connect people, he invited them into the picture to take on a role in the story, see themselves in there. Then the story led them to a truth, a heavenly truth and meaning. Amazing!
Now, we are not all masters in telling parables, but we have stories to tell and when they come out clearly the meaning and value, the person and character behind them comes through too.
Look at Paul in Athens, or Corinth or Lystra, he used stories and experience, he changed the level of communication but he also did a lot of listening to understand what was going on in the lives of those he interacted with!
Should you speak like a 12 year old? That’s up to you, but I would suggest we keep it simple, keep it real and let people see the real you because that’s when they see Jesus clearest.

Image Credit: Felix Russell-Saw

OK, welcome back, we are now in at no.8 on Aseem’s list from the Observer a couple of years back. This is be resourceful. Actually, Aseem called it something like being born with all the knowledge and skills you need.
I am not sure that the title helps to be honest, as we don’t have any of that when we are born, we learn it, and we are taught it. But I do think there is a balance between finding out who we are by the joys, wins and failures in life against the ‘keep them wrapped up in cotton wool’ model.
So, what does this look like from the perspective of a Christian bloke trying to forge his journey in life with God?
I actually think Jesus modelled resourcefulness a lot to the disciples. Jesus borrowed places to sleep, he used his surrounding to write in the sand and teach, or push out in a boat to gain a good platform to speak to the crowds. Jesus was mindful about other peoples needs and was resourceful in how he met those needs. Feeding thousands, turning water into wine at a wedding – Jesus was a resourceful man.
In Aseem’s top ten most important things you need to know in life he suggests the path to resourcefulness is ‘risk.’ Doing stuff that pushes us out of our comfort zone and into the unknown. I like that.
If we define ‘resourceful’ as having the ability to think clearly and overcome problems and difficulties, then Aseem is right, this needs to be forged in trial, challenge and adversity.
What about us then, what does this mean for you today at home or at work? Well, I think it means courage, when the challenges come we welcome them as an opportunity to grow, be forged and shaped as resourceful men.
I don’t always think we need to find a separate ‘deep spiritual’ perspective here that is different from the two arenas I have just mentioned, your family and your work place are spiritual arenas calling out for men of God to operate within them.
Courage men, follow Jesus, learn from HIS ability to overcome, and may our lives reflect HIS life in our resourcefulness today.

Image Credit: Braden Barwich

OK, on to Aseem’s no.9 which looks at the pitfall of buying money.
You’ve seen that new 4K curved TV in the sale, there is only one left and you can overhear the fella behind you talking about how he is looking for the same, 4K mega TV! This is it, you can’t hesitate, you don’t get paid for another month and that tax rebate won’t come in for a few months, but you can’t miss this deal of a lifetime. What do you do? (I am sure most of you have said, walk away, but stay with me.) You go for the instant cash, you decided to buy some money, a pay day loan, borrow it, and walk away with the TV of your dreams.
I did a quick search online about this stuff, say you borrow £500, and plan to repay it over 4 months, the APR (annual percentage rate) the lender will charge you is worked out, and in some cases over that 4 months you will pay £2953!!! That’s a whopping 4670% APR.
OK, that was a scary example, but your mortgage, your car lease or credit card are all forms of buying money. Now you can argue that this is, in some cases OK and helpful, if the boiler explodes in winter and you don’t have £1000 sitting about, you buy money to sort it. Or that holiday you can pay off during the year because it is on a credit card, it’s easy.
Perhaps then if we are going to look at this with a spiritual filter we need to be real about it. We are talking about cash v credit, reaching beyond our capability and financial boundaries to have and get what we want (and need?) Instead of saving, planning and administering our funds effectively, we buy money. (I am not a pro at this, just saying, I am challenging myself here to be honest!)
If we start to suggest that behind the credit is a hunger or desire for stuff, then we are exposing something that is unsettled and restless within our lives. That gets a bit uncomfortable, when is enough enough and how do we measure and gauge if our ‘material’ filter and sensors are calibrated correctly? Is it not different for everyone?
Yeah, I guess so, but I also think we know if we are living within our means and income or outside of it.
It doesn’t seem right here to try and chuck a bible verse in to back up my argument, so I won’t. But what the bible does explore is how we steward money, our attitudes towards it, debt, how we give it away and how we value it. There seems to be an expectation that we will manage money well, not be managed and controlled by it, but I think the bible also goes a few layers deeper to what drives us, to what feeds into our lives opening up credit traps and debt pitfalls all around.
So, what do you think? How do you explore and manage this area of your life as a Christian man? Have you bought into the world of credit? See what I did there? Anyway, to take credit or not to take credit, that is the question!

Image Credit: Fabian Blank

A couple of years ago the observer ran an article called ‘The 10 Most Important Things You Need To Know In Life’’ written by Rizwan Aseem. The article is interesting, it talks a lot about success, mainly in relationships and in making money and influence but it also has some other interesting ideas.
Over the next 10 weeks, I thought it would be fun to take Aseem’s list of 10 things you NEED to know in life and try and find a parallel for them. As a Christian bloke, I read the Bible, I try and let it guide my life and shape who I am and what matters most to me. I let the message of the Bible transform my mind and heart, passions and my priorities.
So, it seems right to be able to look at this and cobble together my version of this list and see if it holds water. I am not taking any credit for Aseem’s work here, I am just working from it and exploring it to see if as a Christian man this list makes any sense, if so why, and if not what does.
Enough already, let’s get on….
10. Compound interest is king
Ok, what on earth does this mean? Compound interest? Well, as far as I can make out this is about investment, using what you have and investing it in a way that will multiply, now this I like!
In the article, Aseem talks about eating apples, making an apple pie which can be fed to others too, or planting another tree to get loads more apples. Basically (I like basics), compound interest is interest on interest, exponential growth.
If we are talking money, and I’ll be honest, it’s the stuff I am just no good at the thought of reinvesting interest is a bit alien to me .. ‘I’ve made a bit here, spend it!’
Other people, entrepreneurial types, start a business enterprise and then don’t take a salary for years or a very small one, everything is invested back in, even the profit because multiplication is the key.
I like that, well, I don’t like doing it but I like the idea. Here’s the thing, at no. 10 in the list we are told we need to know about compound interest and use it wisely.
If you have been to Sunday school you will probably be way ahead of me here, but this got me thinking about the parable of the talents.
Matthew 25: 19-21
Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’
Maybe you have read this before, the fella in this parable who received one talent and buried it because he didn’t want to get it wrong, got it in the neck. He was not rewarded, praised or thanked. Actually, rather the opposite, it was seen that he had wasted the investment; out of fear and worry to get it wrong he did nothing, big mistake.
Ok, back to us. No. 10 in our need to know list is compound interest. Of course this is focused on money but what about the gospel, what about multiplication of the good news reaching people? I like that better.
How do you invest; how do you prepare and what does your portfolio of ‘compound interest investments’ look like for the kingdom?
Share Jesus, talk about him, love people, show it, let the Holy Spirit inspire us, challenge us and direct us. I think that when we make multiplication a priority we start to discover that God is already working in this space and welcomes us in. Perhaps then we can see a subtle difference between being a Christian and a disciple. A disciple embraces no. 10, he makes disciples, multiplication matters to him.

Image Credit: Roberta Sorge

 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
John 6: 1-14
I have been on the receiving end of some of the most incredible generosity in my life. This has been through money, but also time, and people actively helping out and meeting needs.
Generosity is an amazing thing because it really does slap the face of our ‘me first’ culture by saying ‘you first.’
I think generosity with money especially indicates this culture shift, because money is something that drives so much of life, and the values of people.  Really generous people however don’t need to be rich and loaded to amaze you and shock you with their generosity. The reason is, it’s not always about the amount that is shared but the fact that it doesn’t always make sense, when and how it is given.
Think about the boy with a few fish and bits of bread, he didn’t have much at all but the point was at the moment he gave it away, it was his lunch that he was losing!
He didn’t know Jesus was about to generously give his lunch to the whole crowd (through a miracle of multiplication). And what a help it was. 5,000 men fed, plus of course the women and children too, all from a kids lunch box!
The point is, we can receive incredible generosity and we can give it too, but we should also be aware that there is a certain ‘faith’ cost to seriously radical generosity.
When it’s something you need, when it costs you personally in time, effort, energy, money or maybe it even means you wont go on holiday but you’ve helped someone else through your generosity … then that is radical generosity.
Let me be honest with you, I don’t live this as much as I want to, sometimes not at all. But I want to be like it, perhaps by writing and putting my name to this I will begin to become radically generous ….
I love radical generosity, a culture of doing things a new way. Yes, there is a cost, but I think faith adventures, stories of how God just did it are forged from these moments and a heart to give, even if it means a loss for me.
With God, all this stuff seems to come around, I am sure that we can’t out give Him!
 

Image Credit: Yasin Arıbuğa

I dunno about you but I think music is a great medium that unites people. I used to play in bands on nearly every RN ship I served in and whenever the band played on board, at a flight deck function or ashore in a local bar or hotel, the ships company always supported us (if only to extract the michael) but we were THEIR band and that is what was important, we were part of the community which was the ships company (much the same as non-rugby fans would go and watch the ships rugby team play).
Early on in my world wide touring schedule (which the RN kindly facilitated by frequent overseas deployments) I was the either the rhythm guitarist or the roadie! No real pressure, just help get the kit on and off the ship to the hotel or bar along with the other guys. Then get it all back on my own as the rest of the band went on the lash. You can’t beat trying to lower a PA, keyboard and drum kit over the side of a Type 22 frigate into a boat to get ashore whilst at anchor. And even better getting it back on board on your own with a boat load of ‘high spirited’ sailors at midnight … character building.
Anyway during the mid 1990s I was lucky enough to be on one of the last of the ‘old school’ deployments to the West Indies before they became all about chasing drug smugglers etc … we visited about 15 idyllic islands in 6 months and endured a two week stand off in Barbados in the middle. During this period one of our guys arranged for the ships band (called ‘The Bollards’ … what else … ) to play at a large nightclub venue on the Island. The place was packed out with ships company, tourists and locals. We were just an average ships band. With a limited set list. There was a local guy running the PA desk (I think he just turned the bass up and that was it!) and our mate who normally did the sound for us was stood by him. All was going OK, good reaction from the crowd. Now, as it was a West Indies tour we had obviously included a Bob Marley song (No woman no cry) this had gone down well on board, so we kept it to the end of the set. As our singer, a Brummy Leading hand, introduced it, the guy running the PA desk leant across to our mate and said ‘If they ‘muck’ this up, I will kill them’. Now obviously we did not know about this rather looming tragedy as we played and managed to pull it off .. but here’s the thing, we were not aware of the threat hanging over us … if we didn’t get it right there would be a consequence … and he was a big bloke!
As a Christian I believe that there is a consequence for going our own way and disregarding God – ie making a mess of this life that he has given us by doing our own thing. Much like the PA engineer, if we had disregarded the essence of the original song and turned it into a heavy metal song, rather than a reggae classic, there would have been a consequence! We all disregard God .. it’s in our nature … BUT the difference is that God has made the consequence clear to us rather than whisper it to someone once we have started making a mess of it all … Jesus is our example of the way God wants us to live, and that is recorded in the Bible. Jesus is not only our example but also our way back to God, so we can avoid the consequence of going our own way.
Room for one more little story from that night in Barbados … we played ‘Don’t look back in anger’ by Oasis. As I ended the solo, I had developed the routine of jumping up in the air … a bit ‘Pete Townshend-y’. So up I jumped, but I landed on one of my effects pedals, fell backwards, knocked my amplifier over and fell off the back of the stage … the rest of the band couldn’t play for laughing ..
Oh yeah .. sorry … nearly forgot to mention what the consequence is. The Barbadian guy actually had that right .. the consequence for us in disregarding God, is the same as messing up a Bob Marley song in his eyes .. … death ….. can’t really put it any other way .. death and eternal separation from God … but if we get it right and play the song correctly as it was meant to be played, then God will see us through into eternal life have a chat with a vicar / minister / pastor etc or your local friendly God squad member (you will recognise them from the sandals and socks we all wear).

Image Credit: John Raptis

This blog was originally published by The Diocese of London and can be found here.
CVM seeks strategic partnerships to be able to encourage and enable others to share the gospel. One such involvement is with the Diocese of London and its Sports Network Initiative. This month, our Director for London Rob Santer reflects how churches can creatively engage with sport to enable outreach into its local community.

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Recently I watched a programme about Russian Football Hooligans and how they trained mentally and physically to engage ‘in battle’ with fans of opposing countries during Euro 2016… and win. Let’s be clear. Violence is unacceptable, especially within a sport which is considered a family game. However, what I found admirable about these young men was their discipline and motivation to come together as a band of brothers with a common vision and purpose.

As I listened to how these men described themselves, the training they undertook and the cause to which they were committed, I found myself in conversation with God expressing enthusiasm as to what it would be like to see Christian men rise up with the same passion, discipline and strategic consideration, but towards the vision and purpose of sharing their faith and the gospel message through the medium of sport.
At CVM, this is what we are encouraging through our Rawfaith initiative, which fits neatly with the Diocese of London Capital Vision Plan 2020 objective of engaging more closely with sport and physical activity.
Sport can be very emotive. Nothing brings men into close proximity and community with one another quite like sport. We have witnessed this at our annual CVM Sports Week in Lanzarote and The Gathering Weekend Festival held in June, during which many participate in sport and physical activity. Whether it is football, rugby, golf, cricket, boxing, motorsport, cycling or running. It is an environment where men are more open to conversation and where friendships can be forged easily over time.
Not long ago, a mate of mine from one of our groups shared how he was watching the football in his local pub and got talking to a fellow fan he didn’t know. The conversation developed to a point where he shared his faith with this guy, who responded by saying he wasn’t religious and then separated himself from my friend. However, later in the game, their paths crossed again, during which this fellow fan shared more about his physical problems. My mate offered to pray for him and he accepted. In a packed pub!
Quite often, it is a lack of confidence due to a perceived lack of competence that can stop us from courageously sharing our faith with others. Like any game, we have a better chance of winning by working together, developing a strategy, undergoing some training and taking intentional action. This is what we at CVM want to see happening across London and indeed the whole of the UK.
Sport is an activity, whether played or followed, that we recognise as being a catalyst to reach others with the good news of Jesus in a relaxed and relational manner. And anyone of any age can take part. There is a growing movement of individuals aged 50+ taking part in Walking Football which is a relatively new phenomenon. At my home church, planning is underway to set up an early morning spinning class where members of the community can come and exercise, make friends and listen to some life leadership resources at the same time.
So, how can your church creatively use sport to reach the local community? The possibilities are endless.
Hooligans we are not, but faith-filled fans developing a strategic focus on sport outreach we can be!

Image Credit: Tim Mossholder

Before I worked for CVM I was pastoring a small church in Essex. It was a fantastic place and as a family we loved being part of the church and walking with amazing people on their faith journey.
Recently I had a phone call about a lady who was part of the church community who was in hospital dying from terminal cancer.
I decided that moments like this are so quick to pass us by that I needed to drive down from South of Sheffield to see her in hospital. The journey went well and I arrived before visiting hours ended that night. I had thought in the car about things I could say or what comforting words I would be able to bring to this wonderful lady in her final hours on this earth.
We talked about the church and remembered some good times together, and then we agreed to pray together before I set off for the journey back.
I prayed the few things I had thought about, nothing very interesting or significant, mostly about her future and the path ahead. I said a positive ‘amen’ and thought ‘nice work, good prayers.’
She opened her eyes and asked in a soft voice ‘can I pray too?’ of course I said yes and bowed my head. Let me tell you something, this dear lady had captured something unique that I was about to learn, we live in the now. The past, as C.S.Lewis said ‘is frozen, it no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays.’
What am I on about? Well the prayer answered this for us. She prayed not for the past, mistakes, disappointment or squandered hopes and dreams. She prayed not for the future, her safety, or for fear to subside. She prayed for those in her heart, people living in the ‘now’ or the ‘present’ who didn’t yet know Jesus as Lord and king.
As she prayed I was moved to tears (this month is more of a serious article, hope you don’t mind!) I was just amazed at the gospel priority this lady held, the gospel legacy she was leaving was incredible.
So often I am a bloke who lives in the past, trying to defrost past moments, hurts, failures, even good times with God. Then I jump into the future and my hopes and plans to buy a new this or that, to be known as this or that, and all along I miss the ‘now.’
The ‘now’ means we look to Jesus in the future and expect that day to come when we will see Him face to face, and that truth illuminates the now. It impacts how we live, act, react to people around us. As C.S. Lewis helpfully shows perhaps, our enemies plan to keep us locked in the past or dreaming about the future, and this means we miss the moment now to be like Christ to our families, friends and wider. Where are you today? What’s your gospel priority or your gospel legacy going to be?

Image Credit: Freddie Marriage

Every single day, when the alarm goes off at 6am I face a stark choice. Without fail, the choice I make in those first few moments will always ultimately shape the rest of my day. You see, at 6am I need to choose between my personal dragons and following Jesus with all my heart. This is the spiritual warfare that I face each and every morning.
Let me explain what both choices look like:
At 6am my alarm goes off, as some of you will know we have a toddler and sometimes the nights are not as peaceful as we would hope for. Actually, as I write this article we have had two particularly bad nights where my wife and I have been woken up 3-4 times. So my alarm goes off, I open up one eye and then the other and stretch over to, invariably, hit the snooze button – this is the moment when my dragons first appear and believe me, they are relentless.
The first dragon says “…well that was a bad night, you are so tired. You had better stay here for another hour, you need the rest, you are going to be tanked for the rest of the day!”
I, personally, find this dragon the hardest to slay. He sounds so reasonable, and quite frankly I do feel a sense of entitlement to have more rest after a sleepless night. However, I know deep down that unless I fight this dragon head on, the next battle will be much more damaging to my day.
So I jump out of bed, and make myself a strong coffee.
The second dragon says “…well done for getting up, look at how much time you have before the world really gets going. Why don’t you just crack on straightaway, take some of the pressure off yourself? By 9am you will really be ahead of the game, and besides you can read the Bible later!”
I feel more able to push this dragon away, maybe it is because I now have my wits about me. That said, which one of us doesn’t jump at the chance of being ahead of the game. But then again, which one of us is able to withstand the battles of the average day without the Word of God firmly rooted in our hearts.
So I remind myself, this is not just a quiet time, this is an essential routine to ensure that I am battle ready.
Finally, the third dragon comes. He doesn’t say anything. He just waits until I am about to pray and then he cranks up his fog machine. Suddenly, I am so distracted, I don’t have a clue what to pray for and my energy for all this is diminishing. Once again this particular dragon is a bit tenacious and so I must turn my gaze back to Jesus, maybe I read a psalm or two, listen to some worship, whatever it takes to get my focus back onto the Lord.
At 7am, I sit down to breakfast knowing that I have gained the victory for today. The victory will be shortlived, tomorrow I will need to slay those dragons again. Then again, following Jesus really does mean taking up the cross everyday and doing whatever it takes.
There are many days when it doesn’t go quite so well, and I know it. However, as we often say at CVM: “If I fail I will not give up. He never gives up on me.” (Code XII)
Your dragons will, undoubtedly, be very different from mine – but slaying them daily will be every bit as important. There really is a dailyness to following Christ.
Go well and be blessed…

Image Credit: Andrés Montoya