Maybe you saw this in the news or even went and had a look for yourself, but earlier this year ITV HQ supported a charity called CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) by having an art installation on their buildings roof.
The installation was the work of sculptor Mark Jenkins and featured 84 full size male figures, dressed and set on the rooftop edge of ITV HQ. The reason is to raise awareness of the 84 men a week that take their own lives in the UK. Male suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK.
For over a decade CVM have been speaking about the issues facing men and in particular men in church, and have been supporting the church to respond with a long-term evangelistic strategy. We have seen thousands of men respond, lives dramatically transformed and taken from the very point of despair to an abundant new life.
Part of the work of CVM has been to emphasise the importance of enabling the right conditions for men to be real, honest, open and share with other men what life is really like. The embarrassment of a dodgy prostrate, a marriage failure or redundancy that brought in the black clouds of depression.
This stuff is real, and what we have seen is that as we enable men to build friendships, to share their faith and lives whilst doing stuff they actually want to do (like eating, sport or burning stuff, did I miss anything? That’s a joke!) men will talk, share and deal with things, and (I can speak from experience), it helps.
For me, this is part of sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ. This is rolling up our sleeves and being willing to not just invite a bloke to church one Sunday, but journey right through the chaos, and invest in a long term plan to see a culture shifting amount of men discover real life in Jesus!
The sculpture at ITV is an incredibly powerful reminder that we mustn’t look away or allow ourselves to become numb to these statistics, they represent lives of men in their prime who need a rescue. Who will help?
During this week we will be sharing information and experiences around this issue of mental health and men.
If you need to reach out and begin the journey away from the precipice the starting point is to tell someone. Talk to someone you trust, let family or friends know what’s going on for you, they may be able to offer help and support. If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know these free helplines are there to help.

• Samaritans – Available 24hr for everyone – Call 116 123
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – Available 5pm to Midnight for men – Call 0800 58 58 58

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You don’t have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.
If you’re worried about someone, try to get them to talk to you. Ask open-ended questions like: “How do you feel about…?” Don’t worry about having the answers. Just listening to what someone has to say and taking it seriously can be more helpful. See Samaritans’ tips on how to start a difficult conversation.
Image Credit: Alex Iby

It was fairly early on in my Royal Naval career, my first complement job as a Petty Officer, Weapons Engineer. I was on a type 42 Destroyer, and I was the maintainer for the main computer system that drove the Weapons system and the Operations Room. It was 1983 and we were deployed down to the Falklands, still enforcing the exclusion zone, so lots of sea time and the kit was being worked very hard. There was a Chief in charge of the section with me. It was fairly old agricultural equipment, all the radar screens were of course Cathode Ray Tubes (like in your old telly before flat screens came along).
There had been a recurring problem on one of the radar displays with all the data information (track numbers etc) constantly jumping up and down on the screen. We had stripped it down, changed all sorts of bits but to no avail. It was still duff. We had virtually given up and were going to ask for assistance from shore-side authorities. Me and the Chief went to see the Weapons Engineering Officer (WEO) to tell him that decision. But, out of the blue Chief says to the WEO ‘Fixed it Sir’. I was taken aback, and WEO asks what it was … Chief says ‘There is a hole in the Cathode Ray Tube and the cooling fans are blowing the data around the screen’. I am waiting for WEO to rip off said Chiefs head, but instead says ‘Great, can you show me?’ Off we go to the Operations Room .. data still jumping, Chief pulls out fan drawer and data stops jumping. Drawer back, data jumps, drawer out, data stops. ‘Excellent work team’ says WEO and goes back to his tea and biccies … leaving us two flabbergasted staring at the display in disbelief. (Turns out it was all to do with broken down insulation and induced voltages etc …).
Trying to live a live based around faith in God can be a bit like that .. you have an issue in your life that you just can’t sort out, it may be some habit that you can’t break (porn, alcohol, debt issues, etc) and you are afraid of what others are gonna think of you if you admit it. But there comes a point where you have to go and ask for assistance, open up and be honest that you are not going to be able to deal with it on your own. In our case the problem had already been shared between two of us, but we became aware that it was outside our combined knowledge and we needed someone with more experience to help us sort it out. So if your oppo asks for some help with an issue or problem, and you feel its getting out of your comfort zone don’t be afraid to take it further .. don’t be too stubborn or proud !
Of course as a Christian I believe that I can take these issues to God by praying (talking!) to him, and that he will help me. I truly believe that and have experienced some amazing answers to prayers. But sometimes it helps to talk to someone else about it as well as God …
But I wouldn’t advise being like my old Chief and come up with some ridiculous idea to help sort out your mates problem .. in 99% of cases it don’t work like that, but asking for help does … and especially when you talk to God about it. In the early days of the Church they were all working together to help out with life in general. It was likened to a body, where everyone has a role and without the others it don’t work properly. I certainly knew that when working at sea, and part of that was knowing when to open up and admit I didn’t know it all. Jesus taught a bit about the importance of taking stuff to God in prayer …

Jesus was matter-of-fact: “Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, ‘Go jump in the lake’—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it’s as good as done. That’s why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you’ll get God’s everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.”
Mark Ch 11 v 22-25 (The Message).

Until next time …

Image Credit: Matt Hardy

01. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

We made it, finally at the end of my (unofficial) top ten bible memory verses. Thank you for journeying with me on this, I hope it hasn’t been too bad, and who knows, you might have a few of these committed to memory now!
I remember sharing a meal with a few people and one couple had just published a book about marriage, particularly about kindness in marriages. It was such a simple thing and a quick conversation, but I kept thinking about it, and how perhaps something seemingly insignificant could make such a difference.
Being kind and compassionate is perhaps not something we find easy to do all the time, I don’t. When I am tired, grumpy and fed up I can be unkind, and compassion doesn’t really surface. When you add in forgiveness it takes it to a whole new level.
I often want forgiveness, and I am always looking to be treated with kindness and compassion but giving it back seems to be more of a decision and conscious choice than the normal behaviour I usually default too.
Once you have that introspective (maybe this is just me here, but I hope you can see some of this in your life too!) the bible then tells you something else! It ramps the whole thing up even further! Not only are we to be kind and compassionate but we are also told to forgive. Forgive set against the scales of Jesus complete and forgiveness of us.
I am done with my confessions here, but let’s just say that if that’s the way we approach this, I can go on forgiving people until the day I die because of the work Jesus has done for me. Jesus has forgiven me, for everything and that is a bit of an astounding thing to be honest.
So if Jesus has really done that for me, I can in turn forgive others, and love everyone with kindness and compassion and I should want to show that more and more. But what does that look like?
Well in the simplest terms (the ones I understand) it is this; be kind to people, think about others and their needs, see people in need and help, be there, show up, stand with others, speak for them, encourage, support, congratulate and celebrate others even when they do better than I could. Show mercy, patience and compassion and really love people even if they don’t like my Christian views or agree with how I choose to live.
I am feeling a bit challenged, time to stop.

Image Credit: Ben White

02. But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

So this is one of my favourite sections of the bible, the book of Jeremiah contains some incredible stuff. The first part of this chapter talks about how a man is cursed when his life is focused and firmly centred on drawing value and strength from our own efforts along with the capabilities of those around us. There is a stark contrast though when we get to verse 7, which tells us that there is blessing in our lives when we trust not in the flesh but in the Lord.
Trouble is, this can sometimes be rather difficult to do. When the heat is on and life gets challenging I tend to default to a few things, my own ability to sort stuff or to chase after those I know that can help.
This isn’t in itself a bad thing, but the trouble comes when we put our confidence and hope in only ourselves and other people and not God. What happens, for me anyway, is that instead of running to God through the relationship I have with Him, I lurch to my own resources, abilities and efforts to fix or sort, to repair or build etc. What I have seen is that time and time again my efforts come up short and leave me, and others even, feeling worse off!
This verse suggests to me that when the heat comes, the man who has learnt to not trust that default gut reaction to build or sort it himself (without God) but has discovered a root of confidence in God, he is a man getting blessed.
The bible tells us that even when the heat is on this life will be fruitful! I don’t know about you but there have been so many times in my life when the heat is up and I have withered and retreated after having watched my energy, resources and confidence ebb away in the heat of battle.
So, what does this actually look like then? Well, for me this is about a relationship not a quick fix or emergency hotline in the storm. Roots grow stronger over time, leaves that are always green indicates seasons when this shouldn’t be the case, and years of drought suggest a longer journey. For me, this is about a continual pattern in our lives of saying ‘God, I trust you and only you, I am not putting my hope and confidence in me and my strength, or even those around me, it’s you, and only you.’

Image Credit: Ben White

03. In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3

Welcome back, how are you getting on with getting these bible verses forged into your memory? I have to be honest I think I have lost my edge when it comes to impressive memory recall but let’s keep going.
In my household, the chances of getting up before my children and finding a quiet place to reflect and read my bible is rare, not impossible but rare. But, there have been seasons in my life where I have set an alarm and found time alone in the morning to pray and seek God with a bit more enthusiasm and focus, and it has transformed my life.
With the bible verse for memory this week I want to suggest we go for it literally, and pull out 3 things:

• the morning
• lay my requests
• wait expectantly.

Firstly, lets look at this thing of ‘in the morning.’ As I said, normally this just doesn’t happen, the alarm gets hit or ignored. However when it has happened and I get up early to pray, I have found that my life as a Christian has grown. I have heard from God in these morning prayer times, found a new passion for the bible and even prayed for other people! Does it need to be in the morning? I can honestly say it does work so you can make up your own mind, but I am taking this one literally.
Secondly, ‘lay my requests.’ I like this. So often we might have read that God knows your thoughts before you have even prayed so what’s the point in praying? Well, even though he knows your every thought the invite is still to come to him and speak to him, talk and tell him what’s on your heart. I like that. So often my son comes to me and I know exactly what he is thinking just by looking at him. However I don’t stop him, hearing him pour it all out and look to me is part of this father and son deal.
Lastly, we are told to wait expectantly, not to forget that we laid all this stuff in front of God or busy ourselves trying to fix the stuff we have just asked for help on. Waiting isn’t easy, waiting expectantly is even harder as it requires faith and hope that stuff will change or be answered.

Image Credit: Ben White

04: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8,9

I was away on a CVM sports week recently in Lanzarote, unsurprisingly it’s called the CVM Lanzarote Sports Week. We had an amazing time doing sports and in the evening discovering more about the Christian faith together.
One of the questions that came up was a really good one and one which I think a lot of people wrestle with, grace and the free gift.
The question asked was simply this; ‘So then this grace thing, if I decide to live my life as a sinful man hurting others and living for myself, I can still jump in on the grace ticket just before I die and get saved?’
The guy leading the sessions was amazing and he offered some answers around the relationship that was being missed out on between you and God, the fact that you might die in some horrific accident and miss the moment to say the ‘give me your grace Jesus’ prayer etc. But he also said this and I think he nailed it with this one:
‘To be honest guys’ he said ‘this is probably the most offensive thing about the Christian faith, that Jesus would be willing to forgive someone like that who lived a life of deliberate separation from him for so many years but then decided to trust Jesus right at the end of their lives, it is wonderfully offensive.’
I liked that, because I think he was right, it is offensive but amazing and almost too much to comprehend for me.
Jesus loved us humans that much that not only did he die for us whilst we were lost as a human race in sin and rejecting him, but he would even forgive and welcome home a person who did the death bed repentance bit.
I need to be honest here, if I was in Jesus’ shoes I wouldn’t allow that death bed bit! I would be inclined to let them know the line was busy, or they are on hold and I would get back to them in a day or so..
Jesus’ grace is offensive because we want justice and a good measure given out to the unjust but so long as we are safe and in that’s fine. I think that when my daughter gave her life to Jesus and decided to follow him there was a party in heaven and she is now exploring what that decision really means each day. The same happens when a bloke on his death bed admits the chaos his life has been and calls on the grace of Jesus as he breathes his last. There is a party in heaven, even though it was a life set on destruction, the grace and free gift of life is available to all; it doesn’t matter if we like it or not. That’s incredible and takes the idea of grace to a whole new level for me.
Jesus is amazing!

Image Credit: Ben White

05: Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. Psalm 24:3-4

I have been reading this verse a lot recently, well to be honest the whole Psalm. I love not only the format of this Psalm and it’s question and answer bit at the end, but that it makes me think about the reverence of God.
I think ‘reverence’ or fear of God is something that is documented well in the bible and for me personally it isn’t something I really grew up understanding as a Christian.
Often the idea of us ‘fearing’ God can sort of translate in a weird way as this father figure in heaven who wags his finger at our sin and is disappointed in us. ‘Tut tut you sinner, you’re back again’ …and so on.
But that doesn’t fit when you also have this picture of God welcoming us into his presence as Abba father! Compare this then to my relationship with my children, it’s the best reference point I have and perhaps you can resonate with it.
It’s like me letting my kids call me daddy and me being willing to make supreme sacrifices for them because I love them so much, but then in an instant the wagging finger comes out and they suddenly feel condemned in my presence. ‘You shall fear me!’ Doesn’t seem to work does it.
For me then it is better captured in the life of someone like Elijah. When he came out of his cave in 1 Kings, the presence of God was there. Elijah covered his face as he felt just a fraction of the sheer magnitude and awe of God’s presence. If he had seen more of Gods face and splendour it would have dissolved him where he stood! But, the key thing for me here is that Elijah, face covered, had a pinnacle moment here, not a feeling of condemnation and shame but of repurposing and reenergising in the awe and reverence of God.
So then, who can ascend the mountain of God? Well, we can. The mountain top experience with God will change us. When our lives come into connection with even a sliver of his holiness we are changed, but he does welcome us. How? Because Jesus has opened the way, only then can we climb that mountain, only then can we be in that place. We stand with clean hands and heart because the life and blood of Jesus has put the record straight, and opened a way for us. I don’t know about you but that fills me with awe and reverence, fear even, but I also feel bold to approach. Thank you Jesus!

Image Credit: Ben White

“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” John 20:25

I have recently spent some time reflecting on various art works that capture the resurrection of Jesus. There have been many interpretations of this incredible moment in history where Jesus is resurrected from the grave and is seen over a period of 11 weeks by about 500 people. Alive again, walking, talking, eating and spending time with those he had journeyed with before his crucifixion. Amazing!
Throughout history different generations of artists have tried to capture this moment using their incredible skill and creative minds. However, much of their work pictures Jesus floating out of the tomb with a halo surrounded by a bright radiant light. Whilst this is stunning to look at it left me with a couple of thoughts 1. I don’t really think like that when I consider Jesus coming back from the dead. 2. I don’t think that was how it actually looked in reality either.
Mary, who had journeyed with him for years, thought he was just the gardener and completely overlooked him. And of course there was Thomas. I want to touch on the Incredulity of Thomas, as depicted in the painting Doubting Thomas by Caravaggio.
In this painting you’ve got a dark scene, three fellas crowding around Jesus with one of the men, Thomas, being taken by the hand by Jesus so he can jab his finger into his side. The painting is raw and in some way it captures the grain and grit of the moment. There is no radiant sunlight or halo, it’s an open and deep wound being probed by Thomas’ doubting finger. It is actually a bit graphic, but there is something here that amazes me.
The expression on all the faces is capturing a moment that is almost a hush, a great secret about to explode into the world. Thomas’s eyes are full of doubt but like a blind man discovering sight, he is finding that his heart really can trust and the hope he had is returning.
Jesus didn’t condemn Thomas to the waste lands and kick him out of the close group because he doubted. No, Jesus did the opposite, he invited him closer to really see for himself. Maybe Easter Sunday for you is amazing but also at times too much to really comprehend. Don’t worry, I think Jesus invites us closer to really see him and know him. He has risen, have a look for yourself.

The Roman officer and the other soldiers at the crucifixion were terrified by the earthquake and all that had happened. They said, “This man truly was the Son of God!” Matthew 27:54

This moment in the Bible is actually incredibly moving and holds some powerful challenges for us today, on Good Friday. Picture the scene for a minute.
On his journey to the cross Jesus was lied about, false testimony given and through it all he only gave a few comments, no fierce denial of the charges, or declaring his innocence, no hurling curses at his accusers. Jesus was led like a lamb to the slaughter, that’s a brutal metaphor and I think for each of us, like this Roman officer, we have to own it.
Jesus, having lost the company of his brothers who had been with him faithfully for years, stood alone. These brothers who had been fed by his hand, who’s feet he had washed and who he had journeyed with in complete transparency had gone. They had laughed, fought and pioneered together, under the charge and confidence of Jesus’ words and example. They had warmed themselves by fires telling stories and hearing parables unfold under Jesus’ mastery of human life.
But in this moment Jesus stood alone, no one in his corner, no one holding his towel or defending his name against the mockers. The Roman officer would have seen this cruel drama unfold, the crown of thorns, the flogging and exposing of Jesus’ back under the weight of lead tipped lashes.
As the weight of the cross beam buckled Jesus knees, he didn’t curse or protest. His innocence and heart must have been tangible to the men standing by.
As the nails are driven home, only in death would they be removed, the Roman officer stood looking into the face of Jesus. With his soldiers by his side he watched the unmistakable, all too familiar, moments of life leaving the crucified.
But this time it wasn’t just the whimpers from the crowd or the curses from the legalistic religious zealots, the earth shook. As Jesus gave up his spirit the land fell silent as darkness covered that place. The ground beneath the officers feet trembled as the author of life left the earth in shame and disgrace. The graves on hills nearby spewed out their dead, walking around, alive again to the horror and amazement of those around. The curtain in the temple was violently ripped in two from the top to the bottom.
In that moment of chaos as the earth recoiled from humanity’s brutal treatment of none other than Gods son, the officer is heard calling out. Not in jubilation but from a heart crippled by fear.
This man, truly was the son of God.
He had no agenda, he had no ulterior motivation, at his core he had seen Jesus and had to make a choice, so do we.
This timeless moment at the cross is as real today as it was 2,000 years ago. Jesus asks you and me the question – who do you say I am?
Let’s explore this again on Sunday!
Image Credit: Aaron Burden

06: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

This is such an incredible verse, it has spoken to me loads in my life and journey as a Christian.
When I was a pastor at a church in Essex I loved taking baptism services. Getting someone into the water and publicly declaring their new life, witnessing to a radical change in them via the process of sticking them under water and pulling them back up was just amazing.
I remember when one guy called Rich got baptised. He was a well-built fella. I was so speechless when he came up to be baptised, he had seen a glimpse of Jesus and that was enough for him and for me, in he got.
I said to him that I wanted to push him completely under the water and if I could, hold him under a bit before bringing him up. The point was that it was important for Rich to know that everything above the water was now closed to him.
The air was no longer available for him to breathe, the noise of those watching, the sunlight bouncing off the top of the water, he was being buried under that water, and I was going to make sure he felt that separation.
That for me is essential, when we believe in Jesus and get ourselves baptised we are acknowledging that we are cut off from everything above the water. Buried. When we come up it symbolises this new life in such a powerful way that I can’t not get emotional at baptisms. Especially if someone was fighting me to be lifted up out of the water before I was ready to lift them! (Just a joke…maybe.)
When you decide to follow Jesus, and you say YES to him, the old has gone, buried and moved aside. The old anger, or way you would deal with things, the old life that controlled you and wrestled against the truth you have now found in Jesus. Sometimes for me, and I want to be honest here, this can be a daily reminder that the old life and all its unhelpful ambition, desires and cravings has been buried with Christ in DEATH!
I am a new man and no longer need to live that way. With new life comes a new focus and path to walk. Powerful verse that one.

Image Credit: Ben White