Protecting our children from ‘stranger danger’ in 2017

I recently attended an ‘E-Safety’ presentation at my children’s junior school. As someone who spends a lot of time online, I wasn’t expecting to learn much, but I found the evening to be a real eye-opener.
When we were children, being aware of ‘stranger danger’ was looking out for older men in raincoats offering us sweets, or enticing us to go and see their cute puppy. Well things have moved on, a long way, but many younger children have gained a perception from us that the main danger is still the dodgy-looking man outside school.
While there are still odd occurrences of white vans seen lurking around outside schools, by far the bigger dangers today are the strangers our children can encounter online through innocent looking games and apps. This means the risks are much greater, rather than being on the look out for one or two suspect individuals in the local area, they are being specifically targeted by multitudes of paedophiles from around the world.
This may not be the case where you are, but in the area where we live, it would seem that about 80-90% of 7-11 year olds have regular access to a smartphone or tablet. I’m still coming to terms with secondary school children having their own phone, so was quite surprised to discover how many of my children’s friends have their own smartphone.

I was quite surprised to discover how many of my children’s friends have their own smartphone

Despite being aimed at teenagers, three of the most popular apps amongst under 11s at the moment are:
musical.ly – (rated 12+) this allows you film yourself lip-syncing to a song from the charts, that you upload for others to see, in the hope that you might become the next Olly Murs or Miley Cyrus.
live.ly – (rated 12+) owned by musical.ly, this app takes it a stage further by allowing you to live stream your performance and gain instant messages of approval from those who are watching you in real-time.
ROBLOX – (rated 12+) this is a collection of blocky ‘Minecraft’ type mini games. You can write your own and join multiplayer games with other users. It encourages you to connect with others and chat to them, although it has a reputation for lots of bad language.

Other popular apps include Snapchat, Twitch, Movie Star Planet (MSP), Whisper and Pokemon GO.
The worrying thing about all of these is that they are known to be targeted by today’s version of the old men in raincoats, who are now tech-savvy 18-24 year olds with an unhealthy obsession for collecting images and grooming children.
If your children use this kind of app with a public profile (most do apparently), they can be sent messages and ‘gifts’ (as in-app purchases) to win their trust. They can be offered virtual coins in exchange for daring photos. Some can clone a child’s account to gain access to the child’s friends, so they think they’re only connected to people the know and can trust. Many of today’s ‘strangers’ derive great pleasure from amassing huge collections of videos and ‘selfies’ of school children that can easily be harvested from social media. Some will manage to get intimate photos sent to them that can be used to blackmail them for more.
We were told the worst thing we could do was to delete these apps from our child’s devices, or ban the use of devices altogether, as the children will often find ways of continuing in secret. The last thing we need is to encourage our children to be secretive about what they’re doing online. It’s important to let them know about the dangers and be willing to tell you if something is wrong. We can then help them make it safer. They should avoid making their profile public, if possible, and only engage in conversations with people they know – and avoid giving any personal details.
Many parents use blocking software on our computers to protect our children from porn etc., but we were told that porn is not the big issue amongst children that the government suggests (I’m not sure about that) and blocking software doesn’t tackle the real issues facing our kids today – openness and education is the best way. Having said that, I will continue to use parental controls on our family computer, but I won’t assume that having them in place means my kids are ‘safe’.
Our children do not have their own devices yet and are monitored and time-restricted when they do use one. (The ‘Guided Access’ feature on an iPhone/iPad will enable you to lock your device into a single app, so you have more idea of what your child is doing) However, we have already discovered that my son has been messaging someone while using an educational coding app and my daughter performed in a duet on musical.ly while at a friend’s house. Although these exchanges can be completely innocent, it goes to show how easily our children can be exposed to danger, while in the ‘safety’ of our own homes.

Our children can be exposed to danger while in the ‘safety’ of our own homes

Selfies (that give away your exact location through data attached to the photo) and Sexting (sending intimate pictures to a ‘trusted’ friend, that can then be made public) are growing issues amongst younger children, so they need to be aware of the dangers. There is a current trend for selfies to be ‘dangerous’, taken while hanging off a bridge etc.
These are very real issues that used to be just for teenagers, but now face many primary school pupils. Children are still being lured by sweets (“complete this dare and I’ll give you some app coins”) and puppies (“I can show you where to find a rare Pokemon”) but it’s in a different world to the one we grew up in. We have to experience it alongside our children and educate them to look out for the dangers as they navigate the narrow path through the enchanted forest of life.
 
Thanks to ‘The 2 Johns’ of EST E-Safety Training (Essex) for the enlightening presentation. Find out more at: esafetytraining.org
 

Here at CVM, we believe informing parents is very important, and we partner with Naked Truth & Romance Academy who both offer parent workshops, as well as lots of other fantastic help and information on healthy relationships, as well as education and recovery programmes to tackle the huge issue of pornography.

Silence (15)

Dir. Martin Scorsese
Cast: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Liam Neeson, Tadanobu Asano, Ciarán Hinds, Issei Ogata, Shin’ya Tsukamoto, Yoshi Oida, Yôsuke Kubozuka

“I pray but I am lost. Am I just praying to silence?”

I was invited to see an advance screening of this film, it’s due for release on 1st January 2017. All I knew about it beforehand was that it was about persecuted Christians in 17th century Japan – and it was about 160 minutes long … so I found a comfy seat and settled down.
The film begins with a graphic scene of Japanese Christians being tortured with boiling water, observed by Father Ferreira (Liam Neeson) who is forced to watch having been captured for propagating Catholicism.

We then see two young Jesuit priests: Father Rodrigues (Adam Garfield) and Father Garppe (Adam Driver), back in Portugal, who have heard reports that Ferreira has renounced his faith, so they head off to Japan to find their mentor and discover the truth.

This is a powerful film that is incredibly challenging and well-acted. It is based on Shusako Endo’s historical novel and depicts the clash of cultures between East and West.
Directed by Martin Scorsese, ‘Silence’ shows the relentless testing of the Japanese Christians. It certainly challenged me to consider how I would react when faced with extreme torture and even death – could I stand firm and hold on to my faith? Or would I apostatise, abandoning my beliefs to save my skin?

As the two young priests search for their mentor they come across several villages where Christians live, existing in continuous fear and secrecy. They only meet under cover of darkness, but their faith in God is so strong that when they are confronted by the ‘Inquisitor’, they would rather face a torturous death than renounce their beliefs.
‘Silence’ also confronts the issue of calling out to God and not hearing a reply. When faced with uncertainty or a difficult decision, many of us pray in the hope we will have a clear reply, or see God intervene in the situation. How do we cope when all we experience is silence?
It might be a bit epic in length, but it certainly doesn’t drag – I found it to be a compelling film and I would recommend you get to see it when it’s released.
To get more from watching this film, I suggest getting hold of the free church resource from Damaris, it gives you ideas for both personal reflection and group discussion.

A few days into our ‘dad & son’ trip to southern Africa this summer, I realised I’d never been in this situation before. I’ve been a dad for 10 years, but this was the first time that I’ve had sole responsibility for any of my children for such an extended period of time. Here I was on a 21-day trip with my 10 year old son and we were spending every waking moment together, and then sleeping in the same tiny room too. The thing that surprised me was that I really enjoyed it! OK, there were times when the sole responsibility for his safety and well-being were all consuming, but we had a great time sharing some very special moments and building memories that will last a lifetime.
The main part of our trip was to be part of a Mission Direct volunteer team in Zambia, where we were decorating a newly-built rescue centre ready for a group of girls to move in and make it their home. However our ‘epic adventure’ started a bit further south, in Zimbabwe.
We were visiting ‘The Michael Project’ which was established about 20 years ago as a result of the needs of children at risk in Zimbabwe. Children make up half the population and 1 in 4 are orphaned, largely through HIV-related deaths, so the need is huge!

We visited several places where The Michael Project are working including a maximum security prison, a children’s home and a community based preschool. I recently became a trustee of the charity so this was a fantastic opportunity for me to see what they do first-hand. I met some of the children whose lives they have such a major impact on, as well as the staff team who make it all possible.
In Chikurubi Prison I met several children of the inmates in the female section who come to the day-care centre. The Michael Project provide a uniform, two meals a day and a pre-school education. The children live in the cell block with their mothers but the prison do not provide any food or clothes for them. Normally it is only children up to the age of 6 who are found here, but we met one boy who was 10. His mother had been killed in front of him and he was being cared for by an auntie who was imprisoned for being an illegal immigrant. He was malnourished, didn’t speak English and only had the clothes he stood up in. Tinashe, who heads up the centre, is finding him some new clothes and helping him to learn English and get a basic education, along with the other younger children.
If you would like to help support the work of The Michael Project, as a one-off gift or a regular donation, you can do so via ‘give.net’ on The Michael Project website
Before leaving Zimbabwe, we were able to go camping with our friends, the Hobbs family, in a safari park a few hours drive away. We saw buffalo, impala and monkeys, as well as hippos and crocodiles in the river – what a fantastic experience!
After a one-hour flight we arrived in Zambia and were taken to a church compound in an area of Lusaka called Chamba Valley. We were staying in some guest cottages along with 16 other volunteers who had just arrived from the UK. This was all arranged by Mission Direct who offer volunteer trips to about 8 different countries around the world, in partnership with local churches, to help build schools and accommodation in the poorest communities.
Our main project was finishing ‘Vision of Hope’, a rescue centre that will house at least 30 girls who had previously been living on the streets. The staff try to reunite them with their families, get them back into education and give them a better future to lift them out of the hopelessness they have found themselves in. The new centre will replace an existing unit that is too small and lacking in basic facilities. There were window frames to paint, floors to scrub and lavender colour to apply to the outside walls – very distinctive! Each morning we spent several hours there and my son really enjoyed the decorating and being part of the team effort to prepare the building for its new inhabitants.

In the afternoons we were able to visit several local projects and churches who were caring for the many poor, homeless and orphaned children in Lusaka. One afternoon we went to ‘Chisomo’, a drop-in centre for street boys, we spent some time with Crispin who was the same age as my son. He had lived on the streets for quite some time and had recently started visiting Chisomo. We read a book to him about dangerous animals and showed him some pictures of our family and friends back home. We then went outside and played frisbee and catch. The more they played together, the more they both opened up and they were soon having a great time playing and inventing new games. Crispin came and gave my son a big hug when it was time for us to leave – we hope and pray that Crispin is able to find somewhere to live, get into a school, and be surrounded by people to love and care for him.
One morning we headed into the centre of Lusaka and walked around behind the inter-city bus station. There we found a group of 10-15 boys who called this alleyway ‘home’. They emerged from doorways and derelict buildings sniffing rags soaked in some kind of solvent that makes them ‘high’. We started talking to a boy called ‘Bright’. He was the same size as my son but was probably a few years older. He had lost his parents and had been kicked out by his grandmother because she was unable to accommodate him or feed him. Many grandparents end up caring for a large number of orphaned grandchildren, but with meagre incomes and very small houses, they are not always able to offer a home to all of them. We were able to tell Bright about Chisomo and encourage him to visit it to give him the opportunity of getting off the streets. Soon we were surrounded by a few more boys, they found my son’s fair skin and blonde hair fascinating and were all reaching out to stroke his hair and touch his arms. One boy even tried to take his shoes off to put on his own bare feet!

Before returning to the familiarity and relative opulence of home, we had a chance to visit Victoria Falls on the Zambia/Zimbabwe border and had another opportunity to see more animals in the wild. This time we also saw elephants and giraffe as well as a wide variety of birds that live along the Zambezi River.
After 3 weeks away, neither of us wanted to return home. We had experienced the beauty and wonder of Africa, but also the hopelessness and despair in which many people exist. We know that our brief visits will have brought a glimmer of joy to the people that we met, and our efforts with a paintbrush have helped create a home for the girls who have now moved in to Vision of Hope.
If you’re a dad and would like to experience a volunteer trip with your child, you can join CVM and Mission Direct in Moldova next July. More details on the CVM website.

Pete’s Dragon 2016 (PG) – in UK cinemas from 12 August 2016

I’m old enough to remember the original ‘Pete’s Dragon’ film, and it also happens to be one of my wife’s favourite films too, so I was really intrigued to watch this new version and see what Disney had done with it.
I’m quite used to watching films that are suitable for a family audience as I have three children under 10 and we really enjoy cuddling up on the sofa to watch our favourite family movies – this one would certainly feature on that list now!
The animation has been dramatically improved since 1977 and really helps to re-tell this powerful story following Pete and his friendly dragon, Elliott. The setting is slightly different – moving from a coastal town, to one set in the heart of a large forest in America’s Pacific Northwest, but otherwise the storyline is very similar.

‘If you go through life only seeing what’s right in front of you, you’re going to miss out on a whole lot.’
Mr. Meacham (Robert Redford)

It starts with a very young Pete being orphaned and meeting Elliott who takes care of him. Then, years later, he is taken in by a new family and things don’t go very smoothly … this gives great insight into the meaning of ‘family’ in it’s widest sense, and the struggles faced by modern-day families. This and other issues are discussed in the excellent ‘Family Activity Book’ produced by Ethos Media that will help families, friends and neighbours to explore themes of faith and family that are evident in ‘Pete’s Dragon’.
Produced in collaboration with Home for Good as well as HOPE, CPO and Urban Saints, this community resource encourages you to not only watch Pete’s Dragon in the cinema (from 12 August 2016) but then to come back to your house to share together in fun, food and reflection. This booklet can be downloaded here, or order free printed copies from CPO here.
Robert Redford plays Mr Meacham, an old wood carver, who has spent years telling local children stories about a dragon that lives deep in the woods – but it is not until his daughter, Grace (Bryce Dallas Howard), who works as a forest ranger, meets Pete that she realises these stories are not just tall tales.
It is quite easy to see parallels between believing in the existence of a big furry dragon, who is sometimes invisible, and belief in God who is often not seen either. The children catch on much quicker than the adults. Also, Elliott is not a typical dragon as he protects and cares for the ones he loves, and uses his considerable power to combat evil forces. There are some really great Biblical truths coming through in this film that could lead to some very interesting discussions afterwards.
Whether you remember the 70s original or not, you are sure to enjoy this re-imagining of a classic tale! Take the kids – either yours or someone else’s, and prepare to be moved, challenged and entertained by this summer’s Disney film.
See what others thought of it here in this short video featuring clips from the film:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7Y3gd-aZ8Q

In my mid 20s I went to Thailand on my first mission trip. It was a life-changing experience! I saw rich and poor living side by side, smelt the stench of poor sanitation, tasted some amazing food, heard the sounds of strange animals at night and felt sweat dripping off me almost all the time – it brought all my senses alive!
I travelled on motorbike taxis, learned some of the language and even had a go at planting rice. I stayed with several missionaries who were enduring difficult conditions in order to live amongst the locals and tell them about Jesus. I returned to the UK with a huge appreciation for the sacrifices they had made, a fascination for different cultures – and a desire to see more of the world.
Over the next couple of years I helped deliver Bibles in remote parts of Mongolia, visited children’s projects in South Africa and toured schools, prisons and churches in northeast Brazil.
Missionary talks were no longer just boring slideshows, they really came alive and I could imagine the assault on their senses as they went about their lives amongst people of a very different culture.
I am always keen to encourage others to visit somewhere very different to our comfortable homeland, and have supported those who have chosen to do so long-term. So when the opportunity came up to spend 2-weeks in Zambia, I jumped at the chance!
Mission Direct have planned a ‘dads and kids’ trip with CVM and when I mentioned it to my 9 year old son, he was excited about it too! Why should he wait until he has a gap year to experience the sights and sounds of cross-cultural mission?
We will be going to Lusaka in Zambia for the last two weeks of August, helping to build part of a school. This school is giving children their only chance at getting an education.
The trip is open to any dad, grandad or uncle who would like to bring one or more children over the age of 7 – it will be the experience of a lifetime, something you will never forget. I’m really looking forward to my son and I working together and having this shared experience – why don’t you join us? Just be ready for an assault on your senses!
More info at cvm.org.uk/epic-adventure
This 1-minute video will give you some idea of what we’ll be up to!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGvf5jWrdqc