When you’re 50+, if you haven’t already, sooner or later chances are you’ll hear new expressions from the medical profession relating to your body’s decline.
For me it’s my bones, specifically my knees. I have run all my life and love to be jogging on the beach or in the woods or even the mindless pummelling of a treadmill. It went some way to fighting the middle-age spread. However, that activity is severely curtailed following a strenuous workout one weekend when I pushed my legs too far. After hobbling around for a couple of weeks I reluctantly decided that my knees weren’t going to heal anytime soon, so I sought X-rays and an MRI scan. Fortunately the result was no permanent damage, only to my pride as the young doctor diagnosed bone contusions most likely caused by impact damage and “age appropriate degeneration”. Seems my running days may be over?
Although I may have to accept that in the physical sense I won’t accept it in the spiritual sense.
Paul sensed that the Corinthians had become spiritually flabby, wanting all the rewards without the hard work when he wrote to them in 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 ‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one gets the prize. Everyone who competes in the race goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last but we do it to get a crown that lasts forever.’
So if I follow Paul’s instruction and use increasing spiritual discipline (particularly in my quiet times) then I, too, will avoid spiritual flabbiness and thereby perhaps be able to talk about age appropriate regeneration.
Image credit: Photo by Phil and Pam / CC BY 4.0

“Men’s Retreats” may be a thing of the past if a trend to call them “Men’s Advances” takes off!
This spring men from my Dutch expat church (APCH) were again kindly invited to share fellowship, discipleship and worship with a similar church in Surrey (ICC). Initially there was a lack of take-up our end but finally 5 of us made the road trip via Eurotunnel.
The theme of the weekend was Fight Club and the key verse: 1 Timothy 2:8. ICC’s new pastor shared that he had never led a Men’s Retreat but had known that if/when he did he would use this verse. It was an inspiring and spiritually nourishing time (in true CVM-style without a quiche in sight) as Pastor Rick expounded the verse in 3 sessions in the context of Defence (anger and doubt) and Offence (prayer and godliness).
A pause in the discipleship on Saturday afternoon gave an opportunity for fellowship and fun through golf or bouncy boxing or a flying visit to nearby Hampton Court; in the company of Cardinal Wolsely no less.
These retreats really are advances in one’s spiritual journey, as men make themselves vulnerable and available to share their struggles and experiences to learn from each other. It was wonderful to see familiar faces but even more encouraging seeing so many new ones. If you didn’t have a large enough group for a weekend, try, like us, teaming up with another church or churches; I doubt you will be disappointed with the outcome.
‘It is my will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without anger and doubting‘. 1 Timothy 2:8
Image credit: Photo by Campbell / CC BY 2.0

Our pastor resigned yesterday. He’s off to be a chaplain at Wheaton College in Chicago. Wonderful opportunity for him of course, but he’ll be greatly missed.
When you’re 50+ it appears to me that transitions seem to happen faster and faster; even more so in an expat community when some 30% of the congregation changes every year. Pastors come and go, leaders come and go and the church council mutates; the latter fortunately with a core of long-stayers or locals which gives some continuity at least.
However, I have noticed through all the transitions, time after time, that God remains faithful and works through us (and often in spite of us!) to expand His kingdom. He raises up new pastors, leaders and council members to step up to vacant positions for which back at their home church they may have felt excluded or ill-equpped. These steps of faith the incomers need to take invariably lead to greater spiritual maturity which benefits our congregation and, in time, the congregation to which they return or go on to serve.
Praying for our interregnum and transitions (and yours if you’re going through change too), that it would be a time of personal and corporate growth and not decline, and of conscensus and not division. All for one and one for all!
“I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” 1 Corinthians 1:10-11

Is it possible to overstate the importance of a father?
My father is 85 and finally showing his age as he copes with failing physical and mental abilities. Old age is not for the faint-hearted. Living overseas means that I cannot be with him as much as I would like but I think of him every day and increasingly reflect on the profound influence he’s had on my life. I praise God for his life of hard work, integrity, constancy and discipline which is his example for me to follow.
Even more so given the fact that I am newly returned from a fourth mission trip to Romania where I led a building team to help the Roma gypsies living in (literally) the trash belt outside Cluj-Napoca. (How a European country can allow its inhabitants to subsist in this way beggars belief.) One of the many challenges the Roma face, is delinquent husbands who leave their families to fend for themselves, often with teenage mothers as the head. The loss of the father makes families’ lives doubly difficult and leaves its members vulnerable to abuse and entrapment in a vicious cycle of poverty without an obvious means of escape. These absent fathers are also a profound influence but in a negative way.
Fathers can, of course, be physically present in the home but mentally absent (see this article in the FT (07/10/14) for a moving account of a father who realised this before it was too late.)
Thanking Our Father for our fathers.
“A father to the fatherless…is God in his holy dwelling”
Psalms 68:5

Summer may bring the opportunity to cross borders and visit foreign lands. If you are based in the UK this means border controls to enter or leave the country where someone checks your passport. However, being based in The Netherlands, and holidaying in Italy by car recently, I crossed Dutch, Belgian, French, Swiss, German and Italian borders to visit Como, Lombardo without an ID check. Bliss!
Your temporal ID is based on your nationality or residence but what about your eternal ID? We are called to be ambassadors of Christ in thought, word and deed but although residents of his kingdom we have dual nationality in this world.

Do you find that concept difficult on a daily basis? I do. Hence my admiration for and inspiration from people like Joni Eareckson Tada who are experts at Finding God in Hidden Places.
Holidays are important sources of nostalgic moments, the “remembering of another time and place”. It’s a yearning to pass through and reach the other side, as C S Lewis said.
“One day you’ll bathe in peace like this…satisfaction will shower you…this joy will last forever.” And it can start now. Make a memory today. It’ll be a memory of heaven. A touch of holiness in a hidden place.
May all your ID checks and travels go smoothly this summer!

“They were longing for a better country – a heavenly one.” Hebrews 11:16

How do you get men in retreat?  Ask them to join the quilt group; teach children’s Sunday School; or bake a quiche maybe?  Seriously, I was thinking more of a spiritual retreat.
Every year in Spring, our Dutch church is a guest of a church in Surry at their men’s retreat.  It’s a wonderful time of worship, discipleship and fellowship.  This year was no different.  A relevant topic (Faith at Work) led by mature Christians from our host church and including a guest speaker; a De Vere conference hotel at GBP75 per night full board, with use of gym, pool and sauna; the latter necessary to compensate for all the chocolate, pretzels and cake available throughout the day, with not a quiche or a salad in sight!
An inspiring time where men in small groups came together to share their varied life experiences in a natural and open way for the benefit of the group members.
Two things struck me: the richness of those experiences, particularly in the older men; but also the respect and interest with which the younger ones listened (and hopefully absorbed!) the lessons learned and mistakes made over 50+ years.  Not only at the table but in the side conversations throughout the time together. Diverse backgrounds but one in Christ; sharing nourishing spiritual food.
So, how do you get men in retreat?  One way is to consider combining with another church or churches to boost the numbers, increase the diversity and reduce the cost per head.  If it’s yet to happen in your church, give it a go, it’s so rewarding.

²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25

“Get a house group going this Lent.” was the exhortation from the pulpit at my church eight years ago.  I did and the mixed group I started is still running and healthy.
Being an expat church group the membership changes every year and only 3 of the 10 original members remain but I thank God for his blessings on this group.
We’ve shared each other’s trials, tribulations, temptations and triumphs down the years and the tangible love demonstrated in hands-on practical as well as financial ways has been moving and encouraging and gives a glimpse of the style of family relationship we will share in heaven for eternity.
We’ve just finished studying Tim Keller’s Gospel in Life (Grace Changes Everything) series and, as always, I have cherished the openness, insights and willingness to share doubts as well as knowledge in a safe, secure environment.  From Ash Wednesday we will be in Rick Warren’s Transformed.
Can I inspire you to get a house group going this Lent?

 ²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25

New Year, new beginnings!

It is not uncommon that some time between 35 and 55 there comes a point when the search for success gives way to the search for significance.
Whether climbing the corporate ladder has proved exhausting, fruitless, pointless or successful and rewarding; or the rung you were standing on has been cut from under you, as your position made you vulnerable to cost-cutting; or the premature death of friends or associates or your own health causing pain (‘God’s megaphone’, according to C. S. Lewis) – from time to time you may experience an increasing sense of your own mortality or loss of direction.
Any of the above (and more) may give you pause for introspection and lead to a nagging desire to find God’s purpose for the second half of your life: perhaps the desire to give back to the community in which you live and/or fulfilling your God-given potential in service to those around you or even far from your neighbourhood.
(I’ve found books such as Halftime and Retire Retirement helpful in this context.)
So, what will 2014 bring for you?   A mission trip or service project; a Men’s Retreat; a course of theological study; or maybe joining or starting a small group: January or Lent is a good time for the latter.
Whatever 2014 brings, may God bless you and your new beginnings in 2014.
“Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.  Psalm 39:4

Alleged child abduction by Roma in Greece and Ireland is in the media as I write.
In light of those two cases it is not surprising that negative stereotyping of Roma is rife.  How I wish I could take a Daily Mail and/or a BBC journalist to Cluj where a Dutch pastor and his wife have sacrificed their lives for the last 18 years or so for the Roma families forced to live and forage in the trash belt of this second city of Romania.
I have just returned from a third mission trip there with my Hague-based church and the changes we witness year-on-year are heartwarming and faith-affirming:  more children going to school; grudging acceptance and assistance from the city; lives changed and submitted to Christ.
We built, we taught, we gave food, medicine and love.  But it was their quiet dignity in adversity and the children’s happy faces that once again worked in our hearts to transform and bless us.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed in the face of so much need but, as always, comfort can be found in the Bible:
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ”.   Matt 25:40
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”  And I said, “Here am I.  Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Do you find it easier or harder to take a stand as you become older? Should we become more accommodating, more understanding or more bold in our faith?
I was a member of an industry-networking group. The demographic of the group was 50-plus, male and all were professional and some very highly respected in their particular areas of expertise. The group met for splendid lunches in cozy surroundings, lubricated with good wines and spirits. I enjoyed their company very much and was sad to leave. Who wouldn’t be?
My departure was prompted by the gratuitous email circulation of pornographic images. Oh, for electronic modesty covers! I was surprised that they were surprised at my polite request to stop circulating erotic images among the members or at least to me.
Naturally, the courage to take a stand was faith based. They knew I was a Christian but my faith wouldn’t have been persuasive for them, so I protested that my company had a policy on such images. Then, when it was suggested that I use my home email I replied that not only did I not want these images on my work computer I also did not want them on my home PC; especially where my wife and children sharing the same desktop would be exposed to these degrading images arriving in my Inbox.
The silent majority was just that: silent. At one end of the spectrum some openly mocked my concern and at the other end, some told me privately they respected my position. But when good men are silent, evil triumphs. I don’t regret the stand but I miss the lunches! Maybe I should have hated the sin but loved the sinners more?

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers” Psalm 1:1