So, here is a question that I suspect lots of you reading might want to comment on, so feel free. The question is simply this; is chivalry dead?
Let me start with a story. It is stated that Sir Walter Raleigh, when he invented the chopper bike, no wait sorry, let me start again. Raleigh was an English gentleman, writer, poet and lots more. The story goes that when he met Queen Elizabeth 1st he threw his coat over a muddy puddle, to let her walk across said muddy puddle without getting her royal feet wet.
I tell this story to highlight the work of chivalry, but is it still relevant or is it like the cassette tape, VHS and mullets, it has had its time and is no longer the done thing? (editors note cassettes are still in use in my house).
Maybe we need to start by exploring what chivalry may look like in 2018, that seems like a good place to start.
In 2017 The Metro ran an article about some research carried out by Match.com, which revealed that 73% of single women say that chivalry is dead, based on their experiences of the modern man.
Ok, so this seems to suggest that chivalry is lacking, but how is it actually being defined? The research showed that the top 5 types of chivalry women actually like are:

1. Call when he says he will/ (84%)
2. Making sure you get home safely (83%)
3. Not cancelling date plans last minute (82%)
4. Sending you a quick text throughout the day (80%)
5. Turning off his phone at the dinner table on a date (78%)

73% of women say that chivalry is dead. Metro, 2017
So, let’s base this then on just these definitions of chivalry, does that work for you? Is this stuff important still? It seems to me that this type of chivalry focuses on us fellas being reliable, committed, considerate and trustworthy; men of integrity.
OK, cards on the table. I have been married for 17 years, so I am not up to speed on the dating game. But I do have 2 beautiful daughters who, over time, will be running towards this stuff. As their father, I am looking for men who understand chivalry based on these definitions. I want my girls to find men who are reliable, committed, trustworthy, full of integrity and considerate towards my girls. I am also looking for a lot more things, but it doesn’t seem fair to list it all here, it would take too long. Point is, this is important and I want to see a bit more chivalry if it looks like this.
But, I also want my girls to find a man who loves Jesus. This isn’t an add on, this is central and core for me in the way my wife and I are raising our girls and forming them into amazing women in the future. Now, here is the problem, we have a serious shortage of young, single Christian men!
In the UK we have 2.4 million single Christian women who want to meet, date, and marry single Christian man. This works out in our churches at a ratio of 1 man to every 2 women. This problem not only impacts Christian women today, but also has a huge knock-on effect for generations to come.
If any of this impacts you or gets you thinking then let me suggest you check out this website: www.engage-mcmp.org.uk
Engage is a national network of Christian organisations working to promote positive relationships in the UK church and make Christian marriage possible. Engage will be launching a brand-new book in November of this year. It will be packed with practical stats, consultations and answers to how the church, (me and you!) can have a strategy and approach to at least start exploring this issue and ultimately see a culture of change.
I am in, not only because of my two princesses on their way up, but for your daughters, your sister who is single or the loved ones you know. Oh, and go and throw your coat over a muddy puddle for someone!
 
Image Credit: Dmytro Tolokonov

Over the last few weeks, well 6 to be accurate, I have been able to spend some good time with my children. We did the normal day trips out to the zoo and other locations that were utterly mobbed by parents just like me. A look of desperation in our eyes, exhausted from having the children on their summer holidays, mixed with hope and an inevitability that back to school was just days away.
But, having sown that picture of misery mixed with fun, this summer was a really valuable one for me, as I learn to treasure and seize these moments as they happen.
What I am talking about is the relationship that is growing with my eldest child, an 11-year-old, incredibly beautiful and profound deep thinker. She is navigating her world and asking the questions that matter for her life. I think this is a great phase for us fellas and perhaps one where we can really come online. Maybe you are a dad who has thrived on the broken sleep and nappies, good for you, personally I am enjoying this next phase.
This got me thinking about a bible verse in Jeremiah 6:16.

Thus says the Lord,
“Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
Where the good way is, and walk in it;
And you will find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

Training and discipling, mentoring and shaping the generation to come is essential. Gradually I have seen my daughter come to me to help navigate her mind, questions and paths with the wisdom from her old dad’s journey. (If she actually takes this wisdom and implements it is another issue altogether, but the point is the exchange is at least happening!)
For our children, or the children around us that we have a positive impact on, the process of rights of passage from childhood to adult hood is one that needs our support, guidance and stability. How did you cross that threshold from being a boy to a man? Did you get a car? Mark a line in the sand by some sort of initiation? I think our society is in desperate need for this approach to young lives. For them to see the bar, the target and the measure and then to really know when they have reached it, crossed and ‘got there’ is vitally important.
I was at the gym a few nights back skipping for my grand challenge (4 hours non-stop skipping) and I was watching a programme about young black men in London producing ‘drill’ music and basically stabbing each other. I am not trying to simplify these issues, as history tells us there is a melting pot of problems that culminate in this desperate pattern of destruction in these young lives. But, I do believe that when lives are shaped, invested in, loved and allowed to be taken on a journey that makes the transitions into adulthood, whilst seeking to listen and build rather than burn their hopes, dreams and passions, then and only then will we see a change.
Listening and giving wisdom isn’t only about sharing our pearls of knowledge, it is more about listening, understanding and seeing the shape, size and flavour of their journey and how we steer and guide within that rather than mould our life and experience over theirs.
I think that this process takes on even more significance and beauty when we do all of this through the power of prayer and presence of the Holy Spirit. When we invest for the gospel, use the tools of prayer and the Bible to align and calibrate the process of maturity, passion, dreams and identity in the generation to come we will see things happen that will shatter our expectations.
 
Image Credit: Alberto Bigoni

I was listening to a podcast recently as the guys were talking about ‘live ammo’ as a way of describing the reality of the life we live. This isn’t a dress rehearsal in which we get to use blanks and simulate each days situations. We are using live ammo and the shots are real, the hits are real too!
In the bible, we read this from the book of James Chapter 3:3-8

‘Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, they are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also, the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.
See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.’

Live ammo. Every day we speak live ammo, our words are like 5.56mm rounds, 7.62mm armour piecing or even the .50Cal! It is so easy to fire off a few shots, at our kids, families, that bloke in the Audi who is sitting on your bumper and as he goes by you send a sniper round through his window hoping to hit his heart.
We can also turn this live ammo on ourselves too! Self-speak can be so destructive, ‘you have always been a failure, you will never amount to anything, you are an idiot and always will be!’
Social media is a fertile ground too for live ammo – the virtual reality kind! We can jump into YouTube or Facebook and fire a full magazine of live ammo into the lives of other people. We might think it hits no one and does any damage, after all ‘it’s just having a vent’ right?
Nah, it will find a target and land with massive force and damage.
So, what do we do? Well I asked Google what to do with live ammo and how do I dispose of it. Basically, Google told me to take it to a higher power and I liked that.
Go to the police and hand it in and they can dispose of it safely without anyone, (including you) getting hurt!
We take our problems with live ammo to a higher power to get it sorted. I like that.
This battle to control our tongues, our words and the force they can carry over others and ourselves is a battle we need God in. He is the higher power, call on him, in the heat of the moment when the ammo is loaded surrender it, yield it to the holy spirit. This could be an hourly, daily and weekly thing at the start, but I do think that over time we will regularly surrender the live ammo in our lives.
Just a thought
 
Editors note
Whilst in the Royal Navy, every time we came back from a live firing or had had a loaded magazine / weapon in our possession we had to make a declaration and subsequently sign to say …
I have no live rounds or empty shell cases in my possession Sir
Obviously we faced serious charges if subsequently we were caught with any ammo.
Could be a good thought to start the day with …
 
Image Credit: Matthew Brodeur

I remember seeing a Facebook post a mate of mine had posted recently and it said this:

“Jesus leaving the 99 to find 1 seems irrational and senseless – until that 1 is you.”

Over this year I have been trying to reflect a little bit about the grace of God and the rescue mission he deployed. One of the conclusions I came to is that this grace and forgiveness thing, the rescue and the mercy that is on offer is absolutely offensive and outrageous.
Look around you, people living however they want to, doing whatever they want without care or regard for others. You can see the vilest acts and people committing terrible deeds of hate and rage against other. Yet we see in the bible that Jesus, dying on the cross, somehow made a way through for all people. A way to be forgiven, a way to be healed restored and not left outside the home, but welcomed in as a dearly loved son or daughter.
This is offensive. Why should they be shown mercy? Why should they be given a pass and this incredible gift of generosity and kindness? Why should they get to be forgiven when they have hurt people, taken life or lived selfishly without any regard to others around them? This is just offensive.
That is….until it becomes about me. I want justice. Sorry, let me explain what I mean by that: I want justice on others but not for me. Mercy and grace, I am happy to have, but justice, well that’s for those wrong’ens. (Essex term)
Jesus, left the 99 and went on a rescue mission for the 1. The lost, dirty, vulnerable, sinful, scummy, life messed up 1.
The cross of Jesus is offensive, how can Jesus forgive like this? How can he love like this? How does his death set even the vilest sinner free? Why would he leave 99 healthy, nice, clean, good looking people and go after the dirty rotten 1 that has decided to do their own thing and live their life ignoring him? What’s offensive is that even if they turn from that life at the last minute and call on his mercy to save them….he does!!! That’s offensive.
Jesus loves you, he loves me and whilst there is breath in our bodies, whilst there is time, his pursuit after us is relentless. He gave everything on the cross, for even the vilest ‘sinner’ to be saved. (Or how we measure sin anyway, all of us have failed in reality!)
So, maybe it’s just too offensive for you, the cross and forgiveness of Jesus is too unbelievable. For me, I literally throw myself onto this grace, I don’t feel worthy, I can’t point at others and withhold this gift of grace, Jesus won’t, he didn’t with me.

 

FIVE: Master of YOUR universe

We made it, the final blog. Thank you for joining me on this journey, I wanted to finish this series with a simple invite.
We started by exploring who Jesus claimed to be, set against his statement that all authority on earth and in heaven was his, ie him being the master of the universe.
So far I have tried to indicate that Jesus backed this up by showing authority over the physical, natural, supernatural and spiritual dimensions, or universes. The last universe is your heart and life.
In presenting this stuff the question at the end mustn’t be ignored or left out even if it does put us on the spot a bit. Jesus did and said all this because the universe he wants to be master of is you and me. Our universe, the depth of our hearts and minds, the spaces no one see’s and ultimately the one that is to come, your eternity!
I made a choice in my life to say yes to Jesus and to follow him. It has come with a cost too, because when you say yes to Jesus it is on his terms. He wants to lead you, guide you and impact your life, it will require surrender, sacrifice and trust even in the moments and times in your life are the most painful.
Are you in? Maybe you are and have been for decades, or maybe you have been reading these blogs and you are not yet following Jesus.

“Follow me”

Have a read in your bible of Matthew 9:9-13
“Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”  On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Time and time again Jesus invited people to follow him, rich, poor, those on the edges of society and also those leading society. The call was the same to all of them: ‘will you follow me?’
A couple of millenia on the facts about who Jesus is haven’t changed. His life and the cross, his resurrection and the meaning and purpose behind it all hasn’t changed. The invite stays the same…will you follow me?
If you do follow Jesus and have said YES to him, then hear this: after telling us that all authority is his, and proving it in his life, he tells you to ‘GO!’
Go and share who Jesus is, love him and follow him with all your heart and love others too!
Let’s go.

Photo Credit: Kevin Lee

FOUR: Master of the spiritual universe

OK, so I said last week that I wanted to separate the supernatural universe from the spiritual one, and this is why. Jesus deals with something called sin, and this is so important that it needed a blog on its own.
In this series I have wanted to show you, and I will be honest, convince you that Jesus is who he says he is, and that all authority is his. He really is the master of the universe.
Jesus didn’t contradict himself, he didn’t undo anything we see in the Old Testament, he fulfilled it, he even said that himself. The issue of sin (disobedience to God) had infected humanity right from day one, and was the thing Jesus had to sort out. He carried the consequence of sin, the wages of it (death) and paid that price for us, full stop. The bible is very clear on all of this, and what is really incredible for me is that Jesus was forgiving sins even before this happened.

“Your sins are forgiven”

Jesus was speaking, teaching, healing and doing incredible things but he was also saying to people ‘your sins are forgiven.’ OK, now this is the part where we can really see that Jesus was either completely mad and believed he was the son of God in a delusional way or, he was the son of God. The only one with power to forgive sin was God. The only place to find that forgiveness was through God and in particular, for the 1st century Jewish culture, it was in the observation of the laws and patterns of life and sacrifice God had shown them. But here not only does Jesus pay for our sins on the cross with his life, he was showing those around him and us today that the authority was his.
This is something that immediately marked him for death. The people listening had drawn the first conclusion, this bloke is blaspheming, he is telling us he can forgive sin, ie he is the son of God, which he just can’t be, so we must kill him. They refused to believe that he really was the master of the spiritual universe and had authority to forgive sin.
Have a read of Matthew 9:1-8
“Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So, he said to the paralyzed man, “Get up, take your mat and go home.” Then the man got up and went home.
This is great news for us, Jesus was who he said he was. His life, death and resurrection has really freed us from sin! I don’t know about you but this really is showing the master of the universe and the master of me!
Last blog next week on this, don’t miss it!

Photo Credit: John Towner

THREE: Master of the supernatural universe 

I want to reflect a bit in this blog about how Jesus was master of the supernatural universe. I will deal specifically with the ‘spiritual’ universe in the next blog, (ie sin), so this is about the supernatural.
I grew up in the UK and to be totally honest, other than the odd-looking fortune teller here and there and some occasional pop up physic fair’s, the supernatural stuff just wasn’t something that was obvious.
Perhaps the UK culture doesn’t really provide a lot of space for this either so it is somewhat unseen. We heard about spiritual battles in church but the supernatural element was all a bit mysterious, so it just got avoided.
In Jesus’ culture this ‘supernatural’ awareness seemed to be far more accepted. If someone was thrown to the ground convulsing and speaking out in a shriek it didn’t seem to phase people too much. The bible records lots of supernatural stuff where we see a glimpse of it’s negative impacts in the lives of people demonised.
Other cultures and countries today are perhaps more aligned to the culture we see back in Jesus’ time. In African countries these practices are far more common-place and when I was in Brazil I was certainly exposed to this stuff first hand.
Have a read of the entire passage in your bible as I am only quoting a small bit here:
Matthew 8: 28-34
What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted (the evil spirits). “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”

“Before Jesus has even said anything his absolute authority over the supernatural universe has been seen”

So, the point of this blog is to say that even within this mysterious supernatural world, Jesus is clearly seen to have all authority, absolute authority in fact! The bible doesn’t pull its punches either on this stuff, it calls these men (or man) demonised, the community had abandoned hope for them and they lived in isolation. Before Jesus has (in some accounts) even said anything his absolute authority over the supernatural universe has been seen, then he orders the demons to leave. Which they had to do, it wasn’t a choice!
This isn’t the only place where you can read about Jesus showing to all those around and the person or people involved that the kingdom of God has come and Jesus has all authority. Even authority over the supernatural world. Amazing right? This is why Jesus has overcome, he has all authority, he has overcome this world and we can trust him, really trust him!

Photo Credit: Josh Marshall

TWO: Master of the natural universe

I remember watching the news in 2004 after a 9.1 magnitude earthquake rocked the earth resulting in a massive tsunami that killed more than 230,000 people in fourteen different countries. The videos that gradually emerged of this tsunami were utterly horrifying, the speed and ferocity of the wave brought with it utter devastation of lives, property and land.
These types of natural disasters are common, giant waves, wind storms, hail, floods or gigantic snow drifts. We live on a planet that is hostile and moves and works without invite, warning and with fierce power.
I have always felt this when I have been out on the sea or near it during a storm. I remember a mate of mine with a fishing boat had invited me to go play one week, and we got everything sorted and ready. On the day of the big fishing trip a storm came in from nowhere and rudely ended our plans, there was nothing we could do, the sea had decided that today I wasn’t going fishing.

“Who is this man that the wind and waves should obey him? He must be the master of the universe!

Have a read of the whole story in your bible as I am only quoting a bit here:
Matthew 8: 23-27
‘Then he (Jesus) got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
These disciples were not afraid of being at sea, they were seasoned fisherman and had spent their lives on that lake. First time they had seen a storm? Nah. But this one was serious, so much so that they actually thought this was the end and death was coming.
Jesus get up, calmly and the bible tells us he rebukes the storm and it immediately dies down. The men, visibly in shock exclaim ‘who is this man that the wind and waves should obey him!’
BOOM!
So, who do you know that can do that? Have you ever shouted at the rain for it to stop or stood in a storm and told it off and then it stopped? Who has this power? Who can do this stuff? This is amazing and another way in which Jesus shows that he really does have all authority on earth and in heaven. Even the winds and waves obey him! Wow.

Photo Credit: Chris Lawton

I grew up watching plenty of cartoons, and the best, by far was He Man, Master of the Universe. I am sure you know exactly who I am on about, but just in case you don’t, He Man was amazing.
Muscles on muscles, a beautiful mop of golden hair in a mullet, and a spandex outfit that enabled him full combat movement when defeating his arch enemy Skeletor and his minions.
He Man had a sword and as a kid watching him summon his power and dispatch the enemies was fantastic. I was in awe, this was He Man, Master of the Universe.
Anyway, the point of this blog series (5 blogs) is to share my discovery of the real master of the universe, let’s go for it.

ONE: Master of the physical universe

In the bible there is a passage that is called the ‘great commission’. Jesus has defeated death on the cross, is alive again and commissions and sends out his disciples. But this is not only for the disciples it applies to all who follow on, to go and be about kingdom business.
He says this ‘all authority on earth and in heaven has been given to me, so go.’
ALL authority, not part or some, all. So this must mean he is the real master of the universe, and I think we can see it in a few ways, the first is he was master of the physical universe.
Read: Matthew 8: 1-4 (also 5-22)
‘A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

“I can only draw one conclusion from this, Jesus had absolute authority over the physical universe we know and understand.”

Jesus deals with physical illness, sickness, disease and even death. He speaks words and lives are instantly and radically set free. People have limbs healed, sight restored and on one occasion, at a funeral, Jesus reaches into the coffin and raises the lad back to life.
I can only draw one conclusion from this. Jesus had absolute authority over the physical universe we know and understand. Even today you hear about prayer for sick people getting answered, but, sometimes prayer for sick people isn’t answered how we hope and they get worse and die.
This is not then suggesting that Jesus will always act, or heal in the ways we expect and that in actual fact this is all on his terms and not ours. It is his power exclusively and there must be reasons why some are healed and others are not, it is an answer I will understand one day.
But, until then, what I can see from the bible is that Jesus didn’t stop showing his absolute authority over the physical universe. No one else in all of history, or in the future has done or will be able do show that power.
Part one over, join me next week for Jesus, master of the Natural universe!

Photo Credit: Bryan Goff

³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:30 (NIV)

Maybe you have read this verse before and it has been an inspiration to you, I know that’s true for me. I was recently at the men’s group I am part of, and one of the guys, Rick, shared this bible verse but he read it from the message and it really impacted me in a new way.
The subheading here is ‘the unforced rhythms of grace.’
28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:30 The Message
I absolutely love the way this is worded, the idea of these ‘unforced rhythms of grace’ in our lives is something a bit unique when it comes to faith.
I don’t know about you but the world around us runs at an alarming rate, pressure, pace, movement, seal the deal, buy it now, next day delivery, go go go. We can see this at work, in our home lives, on TV and it’s only when we go on holiday that we get off the treadmill, and very often get ill because we are exhausted and then need another holiday to get over the fallout.
Life also seems to be about encouraging us to fight against aging, fight against getting old and make this life last forever. Anti-aging, stay younger, hide the wrinkles, colour the grey, be young and live in the slip stream of all that life has for you now!
And pause, take a nice, slow, deep breathe, exhale……
I think the rhythm of grace Jesus offers has overcome the world and it’s breakneck pace. A mate of mine reflected on life recently like a train, he is in the engine room shovelling coal, he can’t stop shovelling coal and like thousands of men we feel like our lives and family depend on us shovelling coal until we drop dead in front of the trains furnace. Job done.
Jesus seems to find a way into this rhythm, and he puts the brakes on. He schedules a stop for the train that even with you shovelling coal like mad can’t change. Jesus doesn’t force ill-fitting rhythms onto us, or burdens that mean we dissolve under their weight. The bible tells us that what Jesus provides is right for us and we can learn to live light and free!
So my question to you today is, are you tired and worn out? Then spend some time with Jesus, find a place, a time and get yourself alone with Him. Speak to him and start to listen to the unforced rhythms of grace. It is ok to put the shovel down and step away from the trains furnace!

Image Credit: Matej Rieciciar