3. 20 Minutes
We are nearly there, I hope you are still with me working through this 10 episode blog extravaganza!
In at number 3 is a routine and pattern called the 20 minute morning and night rule. It doesn’t need a huge amount of explanation as it is essentially suggesting that habit, routine and pattern is good for you in lots of ways. We know this, brushing your teeth morning and night is what we have always been told, er…cant think of many more.
Anyway, the point is a simple one, routine works! Pattern and disciplines in our lives are really important. So does any of that matter or carry weight in our lives as Christian men looking to grow our faith and relationship with God?
Yeah, I think it does, but with limitations. This is great for learning to play the spoons or something but is that really how we build a relationship? ‘Morning darling, I’ve got 20 minutes for you now then 20 this evening, outside of that, we don’t speak. Cheery bye.’
We can fall into a trap here too where we beat ourselves up because our everyday day bible reading scheme is still stuck on February’s reading. Perhaps you have been there, you want to read the Bible and prayer comes and goes but you still believe in God and feel a connection.
I think what can happen is that whilst this sort of 20 minute morning and evening pattern is helpful to some, it can also discourage and de-motivate others.
I was chatting to a mate recently about forgiveness, he said a great thing. Instead of intensifying forgiveness, focus on loving a person more, forgiveness will grow from that.
That works for me, and I think we can see a similar thing happening here. As I have made time for church, a conversation about God, a prayer as I am walking, a reading during my lunch time, send or receive and encouraging email or share a ‘Jesus’ conversation with someone I have noticed a change.
The change is that I want to read my bible, I want to pray more, I want to listen to worship music or sing the songs at church. This was not born out of beating myself up about a 20 minute ritual, it came from loving God more and putting people and situations around me further up the agenda.
I am not suggesting that we don’t nurture a quiet time, but I am suggesting this looks different for everyone and actually grows and forms uniquely. I would say that although disciple in prayer etc is important, we should look to rediscover and grow the relationship before setting a rigid timescale. Find ways to build the relationship and I think the discipline and devotion follows but without the intensity or guilt when you fail.

Image Credit: Veri Ivanova

4. Leave it looking great
I remember hearing a story about a stadium in the UK that was used for a big national event by the Jehovah Witnesses. After the event they had teams of Jehovah Witnesses come into the venue to clean it. They cleaned everywhere, even areas they hadn’t used, they went above and way beyond what was expected and the management of the stadium were amazed and deeply impacted by this kindness.
I like that story, it really challenged me about how we honour one another and how as Christian men we show our integrity in action.
We host the Gathering each year in a field in Swindon, you may have been there. What perhaps you haven’t seen is that after the event on the Monday and Tuesday we walk around the field for hours picking up miniscule pieces of rubbish, paper, plastic, sweet wrappers and the dreaded tent pegs.
We do it because we strive to show this integrity, and honour in the way we operate as a movement at CVM.
Let’s scale this down a bit to you and me, at work, at home or just out and about, what does this look like, to leave things better than we find them?
Like borrowing a car from a mate with a bit of fuel and giving it back full up with a wash and wax. Borrowing someones house while they are away and they come home to a fridge full of food.
I think we work within a pattern that says you give it back in the same condition, like a hire car, it goes back with the same amount of fuel in, that makes sense. But in other areas of life what would it be like to go beyond that, to leave thing better than how we found them?
This is one of those subtle things we can do that make a huge difference, the meeting room at work that everyone uses, trashes and the cleaner puts back together at the end of the day. What about one day a note of thanks to that person as they look around a spotless meeting room.
This may feel like superficial stuff but I think it does impact people and it helps to show that as Christian men, men living a different CODE, we practice honour and integrity and we leave stuff better than we found it.

Image Credit: Nicolas Barbier Garreau

5. Creating ‘Value’ for others
Lets start with this today, a section from the bible where Jesus is speaking to his disciples. ‘My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.’ John 15:12
So in this, the 5th of the most important things you need to know in life, Aseem suggests we should be the man who creates value for others. I think this is a really interesting idea for us Christian men to consider, as we are at polar opposites to the reasoning behind this concept.
In the article, the logic and reasoning is what we can sadly see all the time, create value for others then you will be in a strong financial position, people will admire you and you will be successful. The article essentially argues that we are one of two kinds of people, either buying into the value that is set for us by others or setting the value and getting rich!
Sadly, this is generally how things work in life, but the good news is as Christian men we have been shown something else, something that actually flips this model on it’s head.
The value people have has been set, it was set 2000 years ago when the author of life was nailed to tree as a timeless line in the sand that says ‘you are worth everything to me, I will take your place.’
Value set. Jesus is the way to eternal life, his body broken and pieced has made it possible, so our value is established as Gods son’s because of Jesus.
Yes, we live in a culture and time that Aseem is prescribing to that perpetuates a false sense of value, a value set by people whose false value is in the one they are trying to set…I know, what a mess.
But you get rich so its ok, right?
As Christian men we have the opportunity to stand against this stuff, not with hostile words or angry social media posts, but with LOVE. Not rainbows and doves and pictures of Jesus with a halo, but LOVE lived out in our daily lives and raw.
This model of creating value for others, so we can stay on the crest of the wave, is flawed in the Jesus model. The Jesus model says love someone not because they will love you back, help you stay positioned or make you rich, but love them because I (GOD) love them, like I love you.
There is no status and gain to be had, we are not loving someone to get ahead in life, instead we celebrate their value because Jesus has already set it on the cross.
Doesn’t matter if you like them or not, agree with them or not, if you are friends of enemies, the command is to LOVE.
It feels so cringey writing it, but what would the world look like with more people loving each other without any conditions and expectations?

Image Credit: Raphael Koh

6. The Right Questions
The next essential bit of need to know information from Aseem’s top ten is this: ‘Ask the right questions’.
I like this one because it plays right into a sense of self-reliance and independence. What? Well, I used to make it a bit of a habit to ask other Christian men about stuff that God was doing in their lives, or things that God was speaking to them about at the moment.
I was doing that because it was done to me. When I worked in a drug rehabilitation centre in Brazil the men there would come over to me every day and say ‘O senhor, Deus falou algo para voce hoje?’ ‘Sir, what has God said to you today?’
Now, I need to be honest, when this first started happening it made me read my bible everyday to make sure I had a reply for them, but what it also started to show me is that asking the right questions makes us go deeper and encourages us to keep learning.
I think Aseem is suggesting that by thinking strategically about your questions and asking the right ones you will get the best answers and advance your life. Fine, I’m not arguing with that. But I want to suggest something else, by asking the questions, be they right or wrong, we cultivate a subtle culture in us that says’ I want to keep learning, I haven’t got all this sorted and I need to learn from my brothers and sisters.’
I think this is so important for us as Christian men. The amount of heart ache and mess I could have avoided if I had asked some questions, listened to the answers and built a pattern of learning in my life sooner.
Don’t confuse this with a pioneer spirit, and a call into the wild to take risks, make mistakes and learn from them. I think that all that will still happen even if we ask the right questions or not. The point is that we nurture a pattern of learning and not a framework of ‘I know best.’
Jesus’ mates, the disciples, asked some of the best questions you will ever see. They questioned Jesus about their power and authority, their places in heaven and who should be near Jesus or not. They questioned Jesus parables, asked for more details and inside information. They questioned Jesus’ actions and how he maintained his focus, prayer life and attitudes.
The disciples didn’t always ask the right questions, but they didn’t want to stop learning, they had a chance that had missed them before to sit and be taught, learn from Jesus and they grabbed it with both hands. Another cool thing is that Jesus didn’t push the disciples away for asking the wrong questions, he just set about unpacking things even more.
With Jesus I don’t think there is a right set of questions, he just wants to teach us !!

Image Credit: Emily Morter

OK, we are looking at No 6 ‘The 6th grade level of talking’. I think this is about how we can learn skills to talk and share our views by developing really clear and uncomplicated levels of communication.
By intentionally talking at a 6th Grade level it is being suggested here that we will be understood better and this will help us excel in life. OK. Lets me look at this for a moment.unpack that a bit.
There is some important stuff here for us to consider but should it have made the top ten most important things we need to know in life? You decide.
The age of a 6th grade kid is 12, so effectively the advice is that we work on developing the way we communicate to be something simplified like a 12 year old.
You may be thinking ‘my 12 year old son says about 10 words a day, ‘when’s dinner, when’s tea, can I have more to eat.’ Maybe that’s the point! I feel like a light bulb has just gone on!
Ok, jokes aside, is this helpful? Yes, I actually think it is. I do think that any advice on how to communicate better that misses out the art of listening is like selling a pair of shoes with one shoe missing. But, working on simplifying how we communicate as Christian men (remember this is a blog series about how this may impact us as Christian men) really matters.
If we talk to mates about our faith do we slip into some theological exposition about Pauline theology and how we search for the historical Jesus? Maybe, and that’s ok too, but I would suggest that we probably don’t talk like that on a day to day basis.
We do however share stories, experiences, life, real moments, the fun stuff, the sad stuff and the scary stuff. Point being, we follow the greatest teller of parables (stories with a heavenly meaning) who ever was, Jesus.
Jesus used parables to connect people, he invited them into the picture to take on a role in the story, see themselves in there. Then the story led them to a truth, a heavenly truth and meaning. Amazing!
Now, we are not all masters in telling parables, but we have stories to tell and when they come out clearly the meaning and value, the person and character behind them comes through too.
Look at Paul in Athens, or Corinth or Lystra, he used stories and experience, he changed the level of communication but he also did a lot of listening to understand what was going on in the lives of those he interacted with!
Should you speak like a 12 year old? That’s up to you, but I would suggest we keep it simple, keep it real and let people see the real you because that’s when they see Jesus clearest.

Image Credit: Felix Russell-Saw

OK, welcome back, we are now in at no.8 on Aseem’s list from the Observer a couple of years back. This is be resourceful. Actually, Aseem called it something like being born with all the knowledge and skills you need.
I am not sure that the title helps to be honest, as we don’t have any of that when we are born, we learn it, and we are taught it. But I do think there is a balance between finding out who we are by the joys, wins and failures in life against the ‘keep them wrapped up in cotton wool’ model.
So, what does this look like from the perspective of a Christian bloke trying to forge his journey in life with God?
I actually think Jesus modelled resourcefulness a lot to the disciples. Jesus borrowed places to sleep, he used his surrounding to write in the sand and teach, or push out in a boat to gain a good platform to speak to the crowds. Jesus was mindful about other peoples needs and was resourceful in how he met those needs. Feeding thousands, turning water into wine at a wedding – Jesus was a resourceful man.
In Aseem’s top ten most important things you need to know in life he suggests the path to resourcefulness is ‘risk.’ Doing stuff that pushes us out of our comfort zone and into the unknown. I like that.
If we define ‘resourceful’ as having the ability to think clearly and overcome problems and difficulties, then Aseem is right, this needs to be forged in trial, challenge and adversity.
What about us then, what does this mean for you today at home or at work? Well, I think it means courage, when the challenges come we welcome them as an opportunity to grow, be forged and shaped as resourceful men.
I don’t always think we need to find a separate ‘deep spiritual’ perspective here that is different from the two arenas I have just mentioned, your family and your work place are spiritual arenas calling out for men of God to operate within them.
Courage men, follow Jesus, learn from HIS ability to overcome, and may our lives reflect HIS life in our resourcefulness today.

Image Credit: Braden Barwich

OK, on to Aseem’s no.9 which looks at the pitfall of buying money.
You’ve seen that new 4K curved TV in the sale, there is only one left and you can overhear the fella behind you talking about how he is looking for the same, 4K mega TV! This is it, you can’t hesitate, you don’t get paid for another month and that tax rebate won’t come in for a few months, but you can’t miss this deal of a lifetime. What do you do? (I am sure most of you have said, walk away, but stay with me.) You go for the instant cash, you decided to buy some money, a pay day loan, borrow it, and walk away with the TV of your dreams.
I did a quick search online about this stuff, say you borrow £500, and plan to repay it over 4 months, the APR (annual percentage rate) the lender will charge you is worked out, and in some cases over that 4 months you will pay £2953!!! That’s a whopping 4670% APR.
OK, that was a scary example, but your mortgage, your car lease or credit card are all forms of buying money. Now you can argue that this is, in some cases OK and helpful, if the boiler explodes in winter and you don’t have £1000 sitting about, you buy money to sort it. Or that holiday you can pay off during the year because it is on a credit card, it’s easy.
Perhaps then if we are going to look at this with a spiritual filter we need to be real about it. We are talking about cash v credit, reaching beyond our capability and financial boundaries to have and get what we want (and need?) Instead of saving, planning and administering our funds effectively, we buy money. (I am not a pro at this, just saying, I am challenging myself here to be honest!)
If we start to suggest that behind the credit is a hunger or desire for stuff, then we are exposing something that is unsettled and restless within our lives. That gets a bit uncomfortable, when is enough enough and how do we measure and gauge if our ‘material’ filter and sensors are calibrated correctly? Is it not different for everyone?
Yeah, I guess so, but I also think we know if we are living within our means and income or outside of it.
It doesn’t seem right here to try and chuck a bible verse in to back up my argument, so I won’t. But what the bible does explore is how we steward money, our attitudes towards it, debt, how we give it away and how we value it. There seems to be an expectation that we will manage money well, not be managed and controlled by it, but I think the bible also goes a few layers deeper to what drives us, to what feeds into our lives opening up credit traps and debt pitfalls all around.
So, what do you think? How do you explore and manage this area of your life as a Christian man? Have you bought into the world of credit? See what I did there? Anyway, to take credit or not to take credit, that is the question!

Image Credit: Fabian Blank

A couple of years ago the observer ran an article called ‘The 10 Most Important Things You Need To Know In Life’’ written by Rizwan Aseem. The article is interesting, it talks a lot about success, mainly in relationships and in making money and influence but it also has some other interesting ideas.
Over the next 10 weeks, I thought it would be fun to take Aseem’s list of 10 things you NEED to know in life and try and find a parallel for them. As a Christian bloke, I read the Bible, I try and let it guide my life and shape who I am and what matters most to me. I let the message of the Bible transform my mind and heart, passions and my priorities.
So, it seems right to be able to look at this and cobble together my version of this list and see if it holds water. I am not taking any credit for Aseem’s work here, I am just working from it and exploring it to see if as a Christian man this list makes any sense, if so why, and if not what does.
Enough already, let’s get on….
10. Compound interest is king
Ok, what on earth does this mean? Compound interest? Well, as far as I can make out this is about investment, using what you have and investing it in a way that will multiply, now this I like!
In the article, Aseem talks about eating apples, making an apple pie which can be fed to others too, or planting another tree to get loads more apples. Basically (I like basics), compound interest is interest on interest, exponential growth.
If we are talking money, and I’ll be honest, it’s the stuff I am just no good at the thought of reinvesting interest is a bit alien to me .. ‘I’ve made a bit here, spend it!’
Other people, entrepreneurial types, start a business enterprise and then don’t take a salary for years or a very small one, everything is invested back in, even the profit because multiplication is the key.
I like that, well, I don’t like doing it but I like the idea. Here’s the thing, at no. 10 in the list we are told we need to know about compound interest and use it wisely.
If you have been to Sunday school you will probably be way ahead of me here, but this got me thinking about the parable of the talents.
Matthew 25: 19-21
Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’
Maybe you have read this before, the fella in this parable who received one talent and buried it because he didn’t want to get it wrong, got it in the neck. He was not rewarded, praised or thanked. Actually, rather the opposite, it was seen that he had wasted the investment; out of fear and worry to get it wrong he did nothing, big mistake.
Ok, back to us. No. 10 in our need to know list is compound interest. Of course this is focused on money but what about the gospel, what about multiplication of the good news reaching people? I like that better.
How do you invest; how do you prepare and what does your portfolio of ‘compound interest investments’ look like for the kingdom?
Share Jesus, talk about him, love people, show it, let the Holy Spirit inspire us, challenge us and direct us. I think that when we make multiplication a priority we start to discover that God is already working in this space and welcomes us in. Perhaps then we can see a subtle difference between being a Christian and a disciple. A disciple embraces no. 10, he makes disciples, multiplication matters to him.

Image Credit: Roberta Sorge

 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
John 6: 1-14
I have been on the receiving end of some of the most incredible generosity in my life. This has been through money, but also time, and people actively helping out and meeting needs.
Generosity is an amazing thing because it really does slap the face of our ‘me first’ culture by saying ‘you first.’
I think generosity with money especially indicates this culture shift, because money is something that drives so much of life, and the values of people.  Really generous people however don’t need to be rich and loaded to amaze you and shock you with their generosity. The reason is, it’s not always about the amount that is shared but the fact that it doesn’t always make sense, when and how it is given.
Think about the boy with a few fish and bits of bread, he didn’t have much at all but the point was at the moment he gave it away, it was his lunch that he was losing!
He didn’t know Jesus was about to generously give his lunch to the whole crowd (through a miracle of multiplication). And what a help it was. 5,000 men fed, plus of course the women and children too, all from a kids lunch box!
The point is, we can receive incredible generosity and we can give it too, but we should also be aware that there is a certain ‘faith’ cost to seriously radical generosity.
When it’s something you need, when it costs you personally in time, effort, energy, money or maybe it even means you wont go on holiday but you’ve helped someone else through your generosity … then that is radical generosity.
Let me be honest with you, I don’t live this as much as I want to, sometimes not at all. But I want to be like it, perhaps by writing and putting my name to this I will begin to become radically generous ….
I love radical generosity, a culture of doing things a new way. Yes, there is a cost, but I think faith adventures, stories of how God just did it are forged from these moments and a heart to give, even if it means a loss for me.
With God, all this stuff seems to come around, I am sure that we can’t out give Him!
 

Image Credit: Yasin Arıbuğa

Before I worked for CVM I was pastoring a small church in Essex. It was a fantastic place and as a family we loved being part of the church and walking with amazing people on their faith journey.
Recently I had a phone call about a lady who was part of the church community who was in hospital dying from terminal cancer.
I decided that moments like this are so quick to pass us by that I needed to drive down from South of Sheffield to see her in hospital. The journey went well and I arrived before visiting hours ended that night. I had thought in the car about things I could say or what comforting words I would be able to bring to this wonderful lady in her final hours on this earth.
We talked about the church and remembered some good times together, and then we agreed to pray together before I set off for the journey back.
I prayed the few things I had thought about, nothing very interesting or significant, mostly about her future and the path ahead. I said a positive ‘amen’ and thought ‘nice work, good prayers.’
She opened her eyes and asked in a soft voice ‘can I pray too?’ of course I said yes and bowed my head. Let me tell you something, this dear lady had captured something unique that I was about to learn, we live in the now. The past, as C.S.Lewis said ‘is frozen, it no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays.’
What am I on about? Well the prayer answered this for us. She prayed not for the past, mistakes, disappointment or squandered hopes and dreams. She prayed not for the future, her safety, or for fear to subside. She prayed for those in her heart, people living in the ‘now’ or the ‘present’ who didn’t yet know Jesus as Lord and king.
As she prayed I was moved to tears (this month is more of a serious article, hope you don’t mind!) I was just amazed at the gospel priority this lady held, the gospel legacy she was leaving was incredible.
So often I am a bloke who lives in the past, trying to defrost past moments, hurts, failures, even good times with God. Then I jump into the future and my hopes and plans to buy a new this or that, to be known as this or that, and all along I miss the ‘now.’
The ‘now’ means we look to Jesus in the future and expect that day to come when we will see Him face to face, and that truth illuminates the now. It impacts how we live, act, react to people around us. As C.S. Lewis helpfully shows perhaps, our enemies plan to keep us locked in the past or dreaming about the future, and this means we miss the moment now to be like Christ to our families, friends and wider. Where are you today? What’s your gospel priority or your gospel legacy going to be?

Image Credit: Freddie Marriage